MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1146, 28 February 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A crusty old curmudgeon, who was laughing over something in his newspaper, being reproached by his wife for not reading it aloud so that she could share in the enjoyment, testily said, ' O, fudge,' my dear; a thing that's funny enough to make only one laugh, would be dreadfully stupid if divided between two.' Alcoholic Fatuity.— The chrcnic debauchee feels lhat he positively cannot exist without his alcoholic stimulation. To quit drinkiDg or to continue the habit briugs death all the same. Such a man can find in Hop Bitters, properly used, a perfect panacea for the drunkard's cure. Read Advt. 'Well, Andrew,' a gentleman remarked to a Scotchman, who, with his brother, was the only remnant of a narrow sect, 'I suppose yon and Sandy are the only bodies who will get to heaven new ? ''Deed, sir,' replied Andrew, shaking his head, ' an' I'm no' sure about Sandy.' "Don't Die in the House, —' Rough od Ruts' clears out rats, mice, beetles, roaches, bed-bugs, flie-, ants, insects, moles, j;ickrabb'i'.s, gophers. New Zealand Drug Co., General Agents. 1 A little boy wns munching a piece of ginger bread. His mother said, ' Who gave you that, Tommy T ' Miss Johnson,' he replied. ' And did you thank her for it !' said his mother. 'Yes, mamma, but I did not tell her so,' he replied. Holloway's Pills.—Nervous Debility. —"No part of the human machine requires more watching than the nervous system — upon it hangs health and life itself. Tnese Pi Is are the best regulators and strengthened of the nerves, and the safest general purifiers. Nausea, headache, giddiness, numbness, and mental apathy yield to them. They dispatch in a summary manner those distressing dyspeptic Bymptoms, stomachic pains, fulness at the pit of the stomach, abdominal distension, and overcome both c»pricious appetites and confined bowels—the commonly accompanying signs of defective or deranged nervous power. Holloway's Pills are particularly recommended to persons of studious and sedentary habits who gradually sink into a uervous and deb'litated state, unless seme such restorative be occasionally taken. A convalescent invalid, Mr B , brought a suit lately against his doctor, and alleged that the said Escirapius had persisted in calling on him personally after he was cured, fees for which he now refused to p-iy. Dr F denied the fact, and called in a nurse who attended the invalid to prove it. 'ls it tiue,' asked the Court, ' that Dr F continued his visits when Mr B had no necessity for them V ' Upon my word, sir,' naively answered the witness, 'as long as I saw the doctor with M'P I thought he was in considerable danger.'