MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1137, 9 February 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

Do clothes make the man ? My «on, they do. They make him mighty bashful of hia tailor. A Connecticut man recently killed a bat weighing a pound and a half. Must have been a brick-bat. A Goon Account.— “To sum it up, six long years of bed-ridden sickness and suffering, costing £4O per year, total £240, all of which was stopped by three bottles of Hop Bitters taken by my wife, who has done her own housework for a year since without the loss of a day, and I want everybody to know it for their benefit.”— John Weeks, Butler. Find Advt. The idea of congratulating a man because he has reached his seventieth birthday, as though that was anything to be joyous about. Now, if the man could only reach his seventh birthday again there would be something to fetch the band for.

“ Let us play we are married,” said little Edith, “ and I will bring my doll and say, ‘see baby, papa. “ Yes” replied Johnny, “and I will say, ‘don’t bother me now, I want to look through the paper.’ ” Flies and Bugs, beetles,insects, roaches, ants, bed-bugs, rats, mice, gophers, jackrabbits, cleared out by ‘Bough on Bats.’ Moses, Moss and Co, Sydney, General Agents. 3 The circumstance that the military editor of the Evening Pest is growing economical of hair on one side of his pate recalls the poet’s hackneyed line : ‘ Uneven wears the head that lies for half-a-crown. ‘ Who held the pass of the Thermopylae against the Persian host V demanded the teacher. And the editor’s boy at the foot of the class spoke up and said : * Father, I reckon. He holds an annual on every road in the country that runs a passenger train.’ Wells’ ‘ Bough on Corns.’— Ask for Wells’ Bough on Corns. Quick relief, complete, permanent cure. Corns, warts, bunions. Moses, Moss and Co., Sydney, General Agents i Waiter to cook— ‘ George, gent in No. 3 says as his potatoes ain’t good, as they’ve all got black eyes in ’em, George (re n 1 name Patrick) —‘ Bedad, thin, it’s no fault of mine ; the spalpeens must have been fightin’ after I put ’em in the pot !’ Who can fiil to sympathise with that dear and saintly old lady from the country ‘ deestrict ’ who, on examining the weapons in an antiquarian museum, declared that there was only one thing mere she desired to look upon, and then she would go homo satisfied—viz., the axe of the Apostles 1

‘ No,’ the editor of lht> Aiuer.can Re* i« said, * I couldn’t tell you much about the book. I reviewed it; but I didn’t have time to read it.’

Moral Turpitude. —Blame attaches to a jury of intelligent men when they condemn a man for crime whose moral nature has been perverted by indigestion, diseased liver, and kidneys. A thought* ful judge may well consider whether society would not be better served by ordering a bottle of Hop Bitters for the unfortunate in the dock instead of years of penal servitude.—Rsad Advt Ofer yo got a rebutation, yoost put him by der key und lock. He vas yoost like some umbrellas—vhenyou loose him, you don’t see him not any more yet.

Hcllowat’s Ointment and Pills.— Female Complaints. —On fhe mothers of England devolves much and serious responsibility in securing for their daughters robust health ; frequently, alas j thoughtlessly sacrificed by culpable bashfulness at a particular period of life, when all important changes take place in the female constitution, upon the management of which depend future happiness or misery. Holloway’s Pills, especially if aided with the Ointment, have the happiest effect in establishing those functions, upon the due performance of which health and even life itself depend. Mother and daughter may sa f ely use these powerful deobstruent remedies without consulting any one. Universally adopted as the one grand remedy for female complaints these Pills never fail, never weaken the system, and always bring about the desired result.