MISCELLANEOUS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1128, 19 January 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A Scottish laird surprised his friends at dinner by affirming that the finest grapes he had ever eaten were grown in the open air in Fifeshire. Their surprise was moderated, however, when he returned to the subject and added : ‘ But I maun premise that I prefer them soor.’ Heard in Mid-Atlantic.—The Bishop (severely) : “ When I was your age, my young friend, it was not considered good manners for little boys to join in the conversation of grown up people, unless they were invited to do so.” Small American boy ; “ Guess that was seventy or eighty years ago. We’ve changed all that, you bet !”—Punch, Flies and Bugs, beetles,insects, roaches, ants, bed-bugs, rats, mice, gophers, jacKrabbits, cleared out by ‘Rough on Rata.’ Moses, Moss and Co, Sydney, General Agents, 3 A fashionable young lady of New Orleans, whose dead uncle had been an undertaker, said loudly, while riding in a street car ; “ I wonder what has become of all the nice people.” A young shop girl replied, “I am afraid, miss, that your uncle buried them all.” It was an Irish pilot who, being asked if lie knew the rocks in the harbor, replied with confidence— ‘ Ido yer honor, ivery wan av them. That’s wan,’ he added calmly, as the ship struck it, filled, and sank. Cored of Drinking.— *‘A young friend of mine was cured of an insatiable thirst for liquor, that had so prostrated his system that he was unable to do any business. He was entirely cured by the use of Hop Bitters. It allayed all that burning thirst, took away the appetite for liquor, made his nerves steady, and he has remained a sober and steady man for more than two years, and has no desire to return to his cups.” From a leading R.R. Official. Read Advt. A certain master of hounds seat a New Year’s present path do foie gras to a farmer in his locality, who iu acknowledging with much gratitude the receipt of the delicacy, assured the donor that since his wife had dressed her children with the salve she had experienced the greatest possible relief. —Manchester Times. When two funerals meet at the cemetery, it is embarrasstug to have one undertaker call to the other, ‘ How’s business V A Lady’s Wish. —“Oh, how [ do wish my skin was as clear and soft as yours !” said a lady to a friend. “ You can easily make it so,” answered the friend. “ How 1” inquired the first lady. “By using Hop Bitters, that makes pure, rich blood and blooming health. It did it for me, as you observe.” Read Advt, \ capital story is quoted by Sutherland Edwards, in his pleasant book on the opera, of a young lady, who buying a piece of music, was asked whether the fact of it being “ in four fiats” would be any obstacle to her playing it. She replied that it made no difference how many flats were marked, as beyond two she scratched them out with a penknife. Holloway’s Pills are the medicine most in repute for curing the multifarious maladies which beset mankind when dry, sultry weather suddenly gives place to chilly, drenching days. In fact, these Pills offer relief even if they fail of proving an absolute remedy in all the disturbances of digestion, circulation, and nervous tone which occasionally oppress a vast portion of the population. Under the genial, purifying, and strengthening powers exerted by this excellent medicine the tongue becomes clean, the appetite improves, digestion is quickened, and assimilation is rendered perfect. These Pills possess tho highly estimable property of cleansing the entire mass of blood ; which, in its renovated condition, carries purity, strength, and vigour to every tissue of the body.