ALL SORTS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1050, 2 January 1883, Page 3

ALL SORTS.

What interjection is of the feminine gender ? Alas ! Does a person loose his sense of touch he doesn’t feel well ? The plumber, unlike the water-pipe on which he thrives, never bursts up. Hanlan claims to be of Russian extraction. He is certainly a Row-man-off. The pickpocket is the true independent in politics. He attends the meetings of both parties. Why are balloons in the air like vagabonds ? Because they have no visible means of support. ‘ I occasionally drop into poetry, as the man said when he fell into the editorial waste-paper basket. Before marriage she was dear, he was her treasure ; but after marriage she became dearer and he treasurer .

A gentleman said, when a pretty girl trod on his foot, that he had received the stamp of beauty. An obituary notice in Utah closes very touchingly,—he leaves 3 3 widows and 20J children.

When Adolphus placed his arras around the neck of Angelina, he said it was for a neck press purpose. Why is a man nevei knocked down against his will ?—Because it’s impossible for one to fall miles? he is inclined. It is bad luck fo" thirteen persons to sit down together at table, especially if there is only dinner enough for twelve. Tutor in Mechanics —It a body meet a body— Sophomore (in an undertone, melancholy) Coming through the rye. A cynical old bachelor says that lovers arc like armies! they got along right enough (id the engagement bc-

gins.’ A convict sent to prison, was asked what trade he preferred. He said that if it was all the same to them, ho preferred to bo a traveller.

A priest once asked a condemned criminal in a parish gaol, ‘ What kind of conscience have you V * It’s as good as new,’ replied the prisoner, ‘ for 1 have never used it.’

‘ There 1’ triumphantly exclaimed a Dead wood editor, as a bullet came through the window and shattered the inkstand, I knew that new ‘ personal’ column would be a success.’