ALL SORTS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1041, 9 December 1882, Page 3

ALL SORTS.

It is to be supposed a soldiers will be raw until lie is exposed to fire.

How could the Maid of Orleans he considered fair when everyone knows that Joan was d’Arc? What’s in a name ? That which we cauliflower by any other name would taste as good. Advice to wives—Man is very much like an egg ; keep him in hot water and he is bound to become hardened. ‘ Student’ wants to know what kind of a bird was the dodo ? From the fact that the species is entirely extinct, we suppose it w'as the fabled spring chicken, of which w T e still hoar so often, and see so never. ‘ Dear me !’ said Mrs Partington, the other day, “ Young girls nowadays are not what their mothers used to be. Half of them are sufferers from nervous perspiration !’ You may have seen a young man on one side of the gate, and a maiden on

the other side. Why they talk so long is because, a great deal can be said on both sides.

Girl (yawning over lessons) —‘ I’m so tired ; I should like to go to sleep.’ Boy— ‘ I’ll tell you what to do, then ; get up early to-morrow and have a good sleep before breakfast. 5 £ Paddy,’ said an employer to his labourer, ‘ you are to begin work at five in the morning, and leave at seven in the afternoon.’ ‘ Shure, sir,’ said Paddy, ‘ wouldn’t it be better to begin at sivin in the morning, and lave at five in the afternoon ?’

•Yes, Judge,’ said a prisoner, ‘ I admit that the back of my trousers were entangled in the dog’s teeth, and that I dragged the animal away, but if you call that stealing a dog, no man on earth’s is safe from committing crime.’ Trumped Him.— ‘ You have played the deuce with my heart,’ said a gentleman to his lady partner during a game of whist. ‘ Well,’ replied the lady with an arch smile, ‘it was simply because you played the knave.’ 1 What’s that follow doing ?’ asked a lady, pointing to a man m one of Hogarth’s pictures, whose head, feet, and hands appeared to protrude from, and be firmly clasped in, a wooden embrace. ‘ He’s only dabbling in stocks, madam,’ was the reply.