BACHELORS BEWARE.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1030, 14 November 1882, Page 3

BACHELORS BEWARE.

There were five of them together, and it was late. They had nil been, as it was supposed, enjoying themselves. Finally one of them looked at the clock, and siid, 'What will our wives say when we get home ?' ' Let them say what they want to. Mine will tell me to go to the mischief,' responded .Mo 2. ' I tell you what wc will do. Let us meet here again in the morning and tell our experiences. Let the one who has refused to do what his wife told him to when he got home pay for this evening's entertainment.' * That's a good idea. We will agree to that.' So the party broke up and all went to their respective homes. The next morning they met at the appointed place and began to tell their experiences. Said No 1—" When I opened the door :ny wife was awake. She said, ' A pretty time of night for you to be coming home. You had better go out and sleep in the pig pen, for that's what you will come to sooner or later, anyhow.' Rather than pay for what we drank last night, I did what she told me. That lets mo out." Next ! No 2 cleared his throat and said—" When I got homo t stumbled on a chair. Then my wife called ' There you arc again, you old drunken brute ! You had better wake up the children and stagger about the room for a while, so they can see what a drunken brute of a lather they are afflicted with.' I thought the best thing I could do under the circumstances' was to obey ; so I woke up the children and staggered around until my wife hinted to me to stop. She used a chair in conveying the hint. That lets me out." Next ! No 3 spoke up, and said—" I happened to stumble over the pan of dough, and my wife wife said, ' Drunk again ! Hadn't you better sit down in that dough ?' So I sat down in it ; and that lets me out." Next ! No 4 said : " I was humming a tune, and my wife called out, ' There you are again ! Hadn't you better give us a concert?' I said ' Certainly,' and began to sing as kud as I could ; but she told me to stop, or she would throw something at me ; so I stopped . That lets me out." Naxt! No. 5 looks very disconsolate. He said : " I reckon I'll have to pay. My wife told me to do something none of you would have done if you had been in my place." " What was it ?" " She said : ' So you thought you would come home at last. Now, hadn't you better go out to the well and drink a couple of buckets of water just to astonish your stomach V That was more than I had bargained for—so it's my funeral." —Mark Lane Express.