ALL SORTS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1024, 31 October 1882, Page 3

ALL SORTS.

A promising young man —One who is engaged to half-a-dozen girls. Almost anybody can run into debt ; but nearly everybody has-to crawl out of it.

Darby, the founder of the sect known as the Plymouth Brethren, died lately in England. The Bishop of Melbourne says that there are 100,000 children in Victoria who do not attend Sunday school at all.

Four thousand six hundred and sixtyfive tons of coal were shipped from Westport during the month of August. Spithelial cancer is becoming prevalent in Australia, owing to the pernicious habit of smoking clay pipes with rough mouthpieces. Whatever you have to do, do it with all your might. Many a lawyer lias n.adc his fortune by simply working with a will.

A physician once boasted to Si.i Henry Hal ford, " I was the first to discover the Asiatic cholera and communicate it to the public." Clergyman : I've lost my portmanteau. Traveller : 1 pity your grief. Clergyman : All my sermons are in it. Traveller: I pity the thief. Mr Burke, the Irish landlord, who, with a dragoon, was murdered recently in Gal way, was a first cousin to the late Robert O'Harra Burke, the Australian explorer.

The greatest pleasure of life is love ; the greatest treasure contentment ; the greatest possession, health ; the greatest ease is sleep ; and the greatest medicine, a true friend.

Thn following is a copy of an inscription on a tombstone in the churchyard of Wrexham :—" Kichard Kenrick was buried August 29th, 1785, by the desire of his wife, Margaret Kemick." Indignant boarding mistress : " Why wliat are you there for ?" Fat boy on table : "Mr jlowlett put me here. He says it's his birthday, and he wants to see something on the table besides hash."

Coffins are now made out of paper We have seen a great many papers which could thus be made use of in the world.

An Irish Wicklow Quaker was recently exclaiming against agitation. A lady listener responded —" What good in the world was ever done without agitation ? We cannot even make butter without it."

Precedence and age.—There is a story of Solomon, not contained in the Book of Kings. Two of his court damsels had a row as to precedence, Solomon looked kindly and sold, " Let the oldest go first." and the damsels embraced and went in together with entwined arms.

Mr Bowron, who has been travellgin in England and America on behalf of the Ashburton cheese and butter factory, stated, in the course of a recent lecture, that " there never was a chaese factory yet—in America or elsewhere—that was worked successfully but the land about it was not enhanced in value."

Lord North, the British Prime Minister who so long sought to subjugate the American colonies, and Col. Barre, one of his opponents, both became blind towards the close of their lives, and meeting on a certain occasion, Lord North said : " Colonel, you and I have long been at variance, but I be lieve there are no two persons in the world who would he more glcd to see «ach other."

A story is told of a distinguished statesman of a vacillating state of mind. There was a deficiency of lavatory accommodation in his office, and the architect was ordered to design a lavatory, He did so, and it was one with a brace of basins. The statesman's valet, when he saw the arrangement, begged the architect to alter the plan at once to one basin, as his master would never make up his mind in which to wash.

An old miser owning a farm found it impossible to do his work without assistance, and accordingly offered any man food for performing the requisite labor. A half-starved pauper, hearing of the terms, accented them. Before going into the fields in the morning the farmer invited his man to breakfast ; after finishing the morning meal the old skinflint thought it would be saving time if they should ph<ne the dinner upon the breakfast. Tliis was readily agreed to by the unsatisfied stranger, and the dinner was soon despatched. — ' Suppose now/ said the frugal farmer, I we take supper, it will save time and trouble, you know.'— ( Just as you like,' said the eager cater, and at it they went. —' Now we will go to work,' said the satisfied and delighted employer.— ' Thank you,' saia the gratified laborer, 'I never work after supper.'