ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Temuka Leader, Issue 354, 15 February 1881, Page 2

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Collated from our Exchanges .

Several days ago a white man was arraigned before a colored justice in America on charges of killing a man and stealing a mule. * Wall, said the justice, ‘de facts in dis case shall be weighed wid keerfulness, an’ ef I hangs yer taint no fault ob mine’ ‘ Judge, you have no jurisdiction to examine me.’ 1 Dat swter work 'longs kr de raiguhir justice, but yer see I’se been put on as a s jecial ; a special haz de right to make a mouf at de S’prerao Court ef he chuses ter.’ ‘Do the best forme you can, Judge., ‘Dat’s what I’se gwine to do. I’se got two kmds of law in dis court, de Arkansaw, an’ de Texas law, I generally gins a man do right ter choose iur hisself. Now what law does yer want, do Texas or do Arkansaw ?” ‘I believe I’ll take the Arkansas.’ ‘ Wall, in dat case, I’ll dismiss yer fur stealin’ der mule.' ‘Thank you, Judge.’ ‘An’ hang yer fur killin’ de man.' I believe Judge, that I’ll take the Texas.’ “Wall, in dat case I dismiss jerfur killin’ de man.’ • You have a good heart, Judge.’ ‘ An’ hang yer fur stealin’ de mule. I’ll jis take de ’casiou heah ter remark, dat de only difference ’tween da two laws iz de way yer sta£e de case.’ There is a dog at Brighton—a remark ab'o dog—a largo Maltese. Sometimes that dog has a purple body, with a yellow head and a green tad : sometimes h• Js scarlet and puce. He is a kinder rainbow dow. Toe tact is he belongs to a dyer in the town, and being naturally white he takes any col< r easily and now h ■ gets a dip in one vat, and now in another, and he forms a sort of canine advertisement. It is fun to see this dog, wh 1 is quite unconsious of his distinguished condition, come up toother dogs wagging his yellow head an 1 green tail, and the way that those dogs, after re garding him out of the corner of eyes for a minute,. Luck their tuck their tails between their legs and “ scoot ” is a caution. Some time since a gautleman who had been occasionally a victim to the “ old complaint ” was going to Brighton for the race week in great health and spirits. When driving from the station he suddenly came on this dog. ‘ Hallo, hey ! What’s this ? Hey 1 hey 1 what! a purple dog with a green tail ! Oh, lor ! eh, lor I got ’em again ; And he turned round and went back to London, firmly persuaded that he was again a victim o D.T.

“It’s an ill wind that blows nobody good ” is a proverb that has like every other, its exceptions, a,.d among these (says the Southland News) must 'be numbered the northerly buster on the 31st alt., which not only raised the dust but whirled it along in clouds. At times it was impossible to see across Dee street. Shopkeepers had for the time being to shut up to the extent of closing their doors, while pedestrians fared still worse, both ten,per and clothes being spoiled by the powdery particles swept along by the wind. In some cases people were dead beat, and had to seek refuge in doorways among them being a well-known military man, M.L.A., who has never - been known to turn his back on the foe, but who had to do so to-day, with the remark that it was “ something awful.” Among the latest curiosities of advertising are two from an American contemporary. One of them by a farmer who warns the public against harboring his wife, who has left him at the beginning of the summer’s work, though he has been at the expense of “ wintering her; ” and in another a laundress is wanted who will be willing to “ take her pay in lessons on the guitar, and on washing days.”

Brown’s wife went to the dentist’s lately and took gas. The new set of teeth is not ready, nor is she ready ; and so there has been peace in the Brown family for several days. As Brown joyfully remarked, “Her mouth is closed for repairs,” This is the way a Canadian paper heads its report of Hnnlan’s victory over Trickett ; Cautuck Scoops the antipodean ! ” “ Ned stoops to Wipe his Face in the Thames ! ” “ litter Discomfiture of the Cornstalk’a

,F; lends and Bnckers 1 ’ l< Phe championship of the world Won in 25 minutes 19 seconds ! ” Some tact is reported to have been exhibited in an unexpected quarter at the recent Ministerial visit to Riverton. A prominent citizen, anxious to impress his opinion of a leading question on the local members, suspected of an adverse view, commenced a conversation wi'h that object, and after som" few introdnctoiy remarks proceeded : judiced mind there can be no doubt Hon. member, straddling befoie a ‘'horsey” picture, “ That’s a finopictu'e, a very lino picture. 1 ’ Anxious citizen . “As I said before, to any ’ Hon. member : “ Very tine horse that, very fin 1 horse, what name ?” Anxious citizen . “ Hermit ; but, as I said before, to any unprejudiced mind ” Hon. member . “Who was the owner of that horse ? ” Anxious citizen : “ Chaplin ; but, if yon will allow me, I will continue, them can bo no doubt ” Hon. member ; ‘ Hid he win any money 1 ” Anxious citizen gives it up and gives ihe lion, inembir beat. —Southland Tinn s.