AHEAD OF TIME.

Temuka Leader, Issue 311, 30 October 1880, Page 2

AHEAD OF TIME.

John Payne was disgusted when he figured up and found that the Fourth of July came en Sunday. After reflection he decided to hold his on Friday, and he started out at an early morning hour to do honour to the memory of such of hit ancestors as died ut Bunker Hill. It doesn't take a patriot long to inaugurate a celebration in this city. Before 10 o'clock he was high drunk, had been engaged in three fights, and was on his way to the cooler.

" What have you got to do with the Fourth of July, John Payne V asked his Honor, as the prisoner showed his battered head befor-a the bar.

"Nothing," was the solemn reply. 'lt's the last time I'll ever try to celebrate her "

" The day is all right, and the celebration is all right, but it is entirely unnecessary for a patriot to smash chairs, break windows, and pitch into pedestrians. Did you ever hear that George Washington got drunk 1"

"No, gir; but I didn't live anywhere near him."

•'1 should like to overlook this case, but I cannot. Three fights and a drunk is rather too much for any holiday, especially where you started so early. Mr Payne ; you will have to go up for thirty days. During your spare hours you can post up on Washington and his many virtues, and if there is anything more you want to know after you get out, come back to me.''