A LOST HUSBAND.
One of the officials of Justice alley was lately waited on by a man who said his name was Smith, and who volunteered the further information that he was about to- get married. The only stumbling-yock was the fact that he would not agree to leave off drinking. He had come to consult His Honour on that point, and see what was advisable.
" Well, I'd promise, I guess," replied the Justice. "Itis a bad habit, anyhow, and the sooner you break it the better."
" Well, I guess I will," answered tie man, and he went out.
In an hour he returned and said
" What do you think ? After I promised that, she wanted me to promise to. leave off chawin' tobacco !"
" Well, I'd do that, too," said His. Honour. "It is another bad habit, and you'll feel all the better for breaking, it."
Smith went away again, and when he. returned he looked twice as solemn as a frozen whitefish.
" And now she wants me to promise to stop swearing !" he g9sped, as he fell into a chair.
"•Is she a nice woman ?" asked His. Honour. " She is." " And you truly love her." , " I do "
" Well, then, I'd stop swearing. It is a senseless habit, anyhow, and you los e nothing by promising." The man concluded to promise, and departed quite happy ; but. when he once more returned, after an interview with the bride-elect, he was mad. " There won't be no marriage," he announced, as he f'at down and poinded: the tables
'./'Why? What now?" ' if What now ! Why, v hen I promised J fco stop drinkin', quit cliawin', and leave off swearing, she said I must promise t.o .•clean up, shave up, and go to church with* her.'' " And you won't do it?" " Judge !" replied rirnith, afterastrug glewith his mental agitation, "do you suppose I'm going at it and change tnyseli over to & gentleraanjustforthe sake ot marrying a forty-year old widow with a mole on her chin ? Never 1 You can go home. There won't be any splicing to do, -and from this time out I'll drink and chaw and swear around four times worse than ever ! It's too /much—ii's the last straw on the cameFa .back!"
Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/TEML18800807.2.14
Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka
Temuka Leader, Issue 279, 7 August 1880, Page 2
Word count
Tapeke kupu
371A LOST HUSBAND. Temuka Leader, Issue 279, 7 August 1880, Page 2
Using this item
Te whakamahi i tēnei tūemi
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.
Log in