SPECIAL IPISOL.

Temuka Leader, Issue 279, 7 August 1880, Page 2

SPECIAL IPISOL.

Lambton Kay, Wellington, -24th July, 1880.

Begorra I'm tould there's been anxious inquiries for me in all quarters, an' a riport has got abroad tbst I've beenrayconvarted be EUlher Batt, but it's all in me eye an' Betty Martin, so it is. The fact o' the matther is I've been up on another misshnn to Tay Whitty thryin' to purswaid him to stop his ploughin' matches. Bad luck to the ould haythin, sure he wouldn't listen to rayson at all, at all, an' affcher wastin' me iloquince I was forced to return to Willin'gton an' riport progress to Misther Bryce. Av coorst* it was owin' to me that the Paice

Priserviishuu Act was passed. Pon me conshiuse ye'd be astonished av ye saw the way the ould pagan thry'd to barrio boozle me. Afther talkin' to him for • siviral hours, an' prisintin' him wid me fotejgraff, the grate profit ses to me, ses he, " Lak here, Paddy, allanab, faix y*sr only wastin' yer wind on me, for I'm a mighty profit an' a big seer, although I'm gettin' into the seer an' yallow laif," ses he. " But sure ye can't have any objecshun to take a few thracks to comfort yer sowl," yes I. "Is it thracks ye mane," ses he, " why, avick machree, that's the. very thing all the ruckshuns is about," ses he. "The Pakevha has robbed us av our thracks o' land, an' we're forced to comfort our sowls wid a drop o' the craychure now an' agin," ses he. k Don't be profane, Misther Tay Whitty," ses I, « the thracks ye mane k are not the thracks I mane," ses I, losin' 1 me timper, an' risin' to lave the wharry. " Keep cool, Misther Murphy," ses he " an' j might git ye married to one o' me daughters some fine day, and give ye a beautiful istate up beyant the moon," ses he. "Give me lovo to Johnny Sheehan whin ye go back," ses he, " an' tell Misther Bryce that I'm too ould a bird to be caught wid chaff, dy'e mind that now ?" ses he. Be the hokey I was so much amused wid his cheek an' impidince that I invoked the muses with the following risuit •

TAY WHITTY.

Och ! hip hurroo ! be gog it's true, I've jist come down from Parryhakey, Sure Misther Bryce, that bcw so nice, G-ev me some thracks an' good tobaccy, To thry an' bribo aitch rible thribc That ploughs our land—an' more's the pity— Ses he " Dear Pat, mind what yer at, Jist thry an'snare that ould'Tay Whitty.'>

I winfc of coorse widout rimoorse, Bekays I'd got a binidicshun From Misther Dick, ses he " Avick, We'll all be saved, boy, ba ilicshun. ; Av you bring back that haythin black, We'll take him to Dunaidin city, An' save his sowl— the pagan owl— Bedad we must convarfi Tay Whitty.', Now whin I got unto his cot, ■% (In the Maori tongue its called a wharry) Me missage breif, I gave the chief, He answered," be me sovrl, I'm sorry For to refuse the wilkum news, Yer paradise is mighty pritty, But railly I am rayther fly, To laive me people," ses Tay Whitty. "Me power is grate, live in state, ~f~™^ I dhraime me dhraimes an' view visions, "^^r An' aitch How-How I sind to plough, Obays, av coorse; all my decisions ; N They never quail, but go, to jail, Och, Pat, agrah, 1 sing me ditty, An' use me fools as handy tools To swell the fame of grate Tay Whitty. ' 'Twixt me an' you, the cunnin' few Will always rise above the many, An' thus, you know, I've threasured so The layginds tould me be me granny ; An' Pat, aroon, above the moon, I'll give ye, wid.my daughter, Kitty. A bit o' land, a splendid stand, To build a pub,*' ses ould Tay Whitty, I may minshun, ongpassoug (Frinch) that Kitty is the profit's youngest-.,--daughther, an' more, be token, she's purty a colleen as ye'd meet in the sivin parishes, so she is. Av coorse, I x'efused the grate seer's gincrous offer, bekays' I'm a married man, an' if ever I was to imigraieto the terristbrial raygins, Molly wouldn't be long in findin' out me whereabouts, an' then there':! be the divil's own ruckshuns, so ther would. Takin'Tay Whitty altogether, I eonsidher him a dacin*, sinsible man, that turns over an honest pinny in a very profitable bizinissSure we must all live, so we must, *tn' if Tay Whitty hasnt't quite sich a gintale style •>' sinding people to heaven as some av our white profits, the poor man's not to blame, so he's noc, bekays his icldycashun has been niglicted. I've some illigant ideas which I intend to ventilate in yer nixt lsshue. Yer obagiant sarvint, PADDY MURPHY.