CAPITANOS LETTER.

Temuka Leader, Issue 263, 25 May 1880, Page 2

CAPITANOS LETTER.

Iloni soit qui ml ’y p nse.—P ovrb

Our political “ wind-bags ” have again made their appearance before their “ enlightened ” constituents. That old Liberal veteran, Sir Q-eoi gc Qr.-y, has of cours 1 come out —both at the Thames and at Christchurch. He had a very large meet ing at the latter place about 2,000 electors being present, besides a large number of those indispensable articles of lux-ury—-ladies. Sir George wont for Johnny Hall properly, and “ carried his audience with him ” through the whole address. Sir George soon settled the telegram affair, and as for the Auckland Rats’ Compact—why, as soon as the speaker placed the matter in its proper light, the electors went nearly mad (drunk) at the mean, underhand, viperish spirit displayed by that would-be paragon of virtue—Mr John Hall. So Geor'de scarified Johnny ; the L’berals were glad at Johnny’s rating, but not bo the Conservatives. John didn’t like the scarification either, so what should he do but go down to that isolated p.'ace called Leeston, and there ho went and called Ge .rgie such naughty, wicked names, because he (Georgie) said at Christchurch that “ Truth was stranger to him than fiction,” and had described his constituents as a rotten borough, and spoke of them as a few farmers living in an obscure village. And then Johnny wound up by saying that Jjhnny Sheehan had spent, oh, such a lot of money on cabs and on Maoris —on the ladies especially, and that Georgie wa« just as bad as his friend, Sheehan. Johnny also said that the ox-Native Minister had spent money on worthless things, instancing this by saying that, a short time ago, an account had been received from an Auckland jeweller for polishing two pieces of greenstone That’s all very well, John, but how do we know that what you say is true ? You are, like the lawyers, a terrible crammer We can’t believe the greenstone yarn. Of course George is different — people could believe him. If he was to say that the earth was (at a certain point) connected with the moon by a railway, he’d be believed He wouldn’t stoop to telling fibs: he’s above such tilings ; he is such a good little fellow, sa truthful; but Johnny, you’re wicked, you tell fibs, and you try to gull the electors John, it’s time you retired from the political business, and ested upon your harclarned laurels If you are not annihilated by this letter, then you’re harder’n ca t iron, and not to bo out-done 1 think I can see how it is you won’t retire The Conservative journals have been puffing you up —the Ashburton Guardian, for instance The editor of that journal went straight for Georgie, and the nasty fellah called him a demagogue, etc, etc And the Guardian said this about Georgie, too :—“ Sir George Grey is in one sense very like the great tenor Sims Reeves Let Sims get ever so much 1 indisposed,’ and disappoint his audiences ever so often, when he is at last able to shake himself together and sing, the audience cannot ‘choose but hear,’ and must perforce listen to his enchanting music,” Then ibhat editor talks about the gaping multitude being ready to gape and claw, and to “ toss their greasy nightcaps ” in applause of the great man who can so cleverly tickle them weaknesses. Why, Mr Editor, you “ speak like a book” The article is finished off by the worst attempt at a joke ever perpetrated by an editor He concludes t.' usly: —“Sir George’s political sands are run: he has danced out his little day in power, and now he figures before the colony, trading, as does the great tenor, on the power of a melodious voice, and the memories of a by-gone greatness.” That sounds very yet I cannot understand how a sane man could write such a barefaced fib It’s nothing more or less; and I emphatically aver that Johnny will have to abdicate is favor of Georgie before another year lias passed The Tim ru thundever —noted for the servile tone it adopts when referring to Johiiny Hail, and for the one-sided view it generally takes of polities rated Johnny for his miserable attempt at a speech at Leeston, and said that lie “ afforded a •mod deal of innocent and oxhilirating amusement” by his attempt to scarify Georgie Anyhow', 1 reckon that Sir George Grey’s speech a l ' Christchurch was the best ever delivered in New Zealand —and that is saying a good deal

Is tliO'-j anything in the Dunedin atmosphere e.onclucive to imbuing a spirit of Jar ikinisin in its inhabitants F 1 think there must be something wrong with Dunedinites, or else their early lessons must have included a treatise 011“ Larrikinisin, Murder, and Incendiarism : showing that the subjects are necessary to improve the tone of a conur.unity ! ” In nearly every issue of the Dunedin papers one finds an account of a fire supposed to have been started by some Cyrus Haley ; of a dastardly murder, burglary, or highway robbery Now the li jokers ” arc getting tired of these nice pastimes, and have been looking around for seine one on whom to vent thenspleen South Dunedin is the first to open theball by going for the City Fathers at. the anq nual encral meeting of the ratepayers, bel last Monday w.ek The Mayor; nid council" l ov3 __in conjunction with their treasurer, 1 presume —have b en trying tor some time past to draw up - tahiuco-shect for the pa t year, and a struggle they seem to have had to get it drawn up Soon the general meeting is due according to the Municipal Act, but it is not held till some time after ; whan the meeting is held there’s a regular Hare up ; th - mayor presided, and he had a very bob time of it while trying to act impartially in his capacity as chairman of what what was literally a lot of grown-up larrikins ; an individual named McCarthy made himself particularly obnoxious to those present, ejaculating now and then the ungcntlemanly expression, “ Shut up ! ” Mr Hodges bullied the Mayor,because he refused to sign the minutes of a special meeting, and characterised the Mayor anti councillors of the South Dunedin Council as a sob of confounded humbugs, etc The Mayor smiled blandly, and evidently made a note of the compliments, with the intention of having it 01 1 with Hodges on the first favorable opportunity ! Mr McCarthy chimes in witli bis “ Shut up! ” and then for about twelve minutes there’s a real hullabaloo ! Quietness being restored, another speaker wires in at the gentleman of “ venerable appearance ” ; and so the rowdyism continues until the climax is reached by a gentleman proposing to hang the Mayor ; that personage tremulously asserts that he cannot put the proposition to the meeting, and then another indescribable scene ensues —knocking Billy Woolcombc's meeting at Timaru during the last election into a cocked hat Some talking follows the row, and then the mee ing is bokonupni confusion. I think Dunedin is, oh, such a wicked place, at lea t so say the holy editors of the Wellington papers —the Chronicle, for instance, which then had Jock Anderson the Righteous for its editor. Dunedin must change, or else it Will soon get beyond the pale of civilisation, and fall back to bbe age that Ingevsoll calls the “’ age of rapine and murder.” Our holy town needs no change : oh, dear no we are good enough Look out for yourselves, Dunedinites —Tomuka is booked for “ etarnal glory,” etc

What a charm there is in the words, “ Luncheon provided for country visitors! I noticed that this was particularly the case during the late sale at Kotherham House : when luncheon .vas advertised all the loafers in the town rolled up to the sale, but when no luncheon was advertised only respectable people attended I drew conclusions Capixano.