CAPITANO’S LETTER.

Temuka Leader, Issue 228, 24 January 1880, Page 2

CAPITANO’S LETTER.

“ lloni soit qui mal ’y pense." —Proverb

I’m a traveller : I might say, one of the greattst travellers of the day I have visited nearly every town, village and hamlet in the North and South Islands. During my sojouniings I often fall across som n queer speciui'MjS of humanity’, and (being a quizzical sort of individual) often “drop ” to some “ artful dodges ” adopted by the gentleman politely called the “street corner loafer.” One of the must knowing specimens of this tribe addressed me lately whilst I was doing the lions of Timaru. The fellow who meandered up to mo was a" gaunt, shabbjMooking man, about'4o years old. His hair was lung, and looked os if it ha .I come through a hedge backwards ; chijs and feathers reposed majestically on his shoulders and back, denoting that ho had slept the previous night in a fowl-house or stable. To keep Ins beaver from wearing out lie wore it t- Ins hand, and his (I nope my lady 7 readers will excuse the word) “inexpressibles ” were appended to his manly form bv a piece of N.Z. flax, coiled round Ids waist several times. He sauntered up to me in rd nonchalant manner, and grasped me heartily by 7 the ha’d. “ Ah, good day gnv’nor. See yor don’t remember me ; yer coin’d out by the Timaru lately, and don’t know me ? ” And so on. The upshot of our conversation was that he wanted mo to loan him ss, on the strength of our acquaintanceship on the “ limejuicer ” Timaru. It was no use him trying to make me believe he knew me, so he sidled away 7 to his companions. “It was no use : he was ton fly for me,” I heard him say to his pals in response to their affectionate enquiries. This is one of the latest styles of begging : I wonder what will be the next “invention.” They will reverse the case, perhaps, of“Japhetin Search of a Father.”

I am never ashamed of anything I do, say, or write. This is not the case with most “ witty” newspaper correspondents. I notice that if anything is written that is considered far-fetched or absurd, longlegged Jonathan is always credited with being the author, oven though Jack Bid! should have penned the article. “ The Detroit Free Press ” seems to be made a regular literary hack of in this respect. 1 have known of funny articles written by New Zealanders, and credited to the Press, Why is this ? Is it to make people believe that the Yankees are the most ridiculous fellows going ? The unsophisticated had better not believe so. If they do, and act upon that belief, they will find themselves iri the wrong—to their cost.

The “ aristocratic ” suburb of Sod Town is always in the wars (according to my “special” down there.) He says there was a grand row there on Wednesday night between the “ladies” of that celestial abode. The sinasii-np.it appears, originated through one “lady” calling another a woman. What next 1 I always thought that Sod Town possessed some extra ensibh' females. There is more pugilism, however, than sense.

How nice it must bo to belong to the printing fraternity, with a good suit of clothes upon a fellow’s back. A wellknown “typo,” travelling thr ugh to Timaru Lst week, stopped a day in our town. Not long after he spread it about that he was “traveling reporter ” to The Temuka Leader, and re. eiving a salary of L2OO a year. “ Comps.”-have a denccd lot of check, I know from expeiiuncc, but this specimen of the “ snalcher ” beats everything I have yet heard of. May he lurn from his wicked ways and bo “A ” good “ Mam.” Capitano.