MR SMITH’S ITEM.

Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 113, 15 January 1879, Page 3

MR SMITH’S ITEM.

He came into the office, and drawing a chair up close to a reporter’s table he said to the reporter ; “ Take a bit ot paper and I’ll give you a good item.” When thereporterwas ready the visitor began ; “ Yesterday afternoon Mrs. Smith —my wife, you know—and my daughter drove out with my hay marc for a little ride. Jenny was driving the mare, Cuming down from Mount Airy to the Wissaliickon, when, just below the crest of the hill she kicked off one of her shoes.” “ Jenny did ?” “No ; the mare. Mrs. Smith, however, concluded to go on, as the roads were soft and the mare quiet ; so Jenny let her proceed slowly down the hill.” “ Let Mrs. Smith or the mare ?” “ The mare of course. A few minutes later, however, while Jenny -was stopping to pick some ferns for her mother, a fly or something bit her upon the nose.” “ Upon Jenny’s nose or her mother’s ?” “ No no ! The mare’s nose ; bit the mare upon the nose, and Jenny hardly had time to get back into the carriage hefoie she began to rear and plunge in a most alarming manner.” “ Not Jenny ?” “ Oh, pshaw, the animal, the mare. Mrs. Smith, of course, was very much frightened, for the marc seemed really excited, she began to scream violently and to try to get out of the carriage.” “ The marc did ?” “ Mrs. Smith. But Jenny told her she could manage the mare if she sit still.” “ If the mare would sit—'?” “ If her mother would sit still, hut just then a buckle broke and Jenny was unable to prevent the mare from dashing down the hill at a frightful pace. When they came to the bridge over the creek, Mrs. Smith was overjoyed to observe the mare come to a dead stop : but unhappily, the next moment a fit of blind staggers struck her, and—- “ Struck Mrs. Smith, or the—?” “ Don’t yon understand ? Struck the mare and before Jenny could comprehend the situation, she reeled about upon the bridge in an uncertain sort of way, while Mrs. Smith was completely unnerved and without self control, and the next moment she turned an entire somersault over the side of the bridge into the water,” ££ Are you referring now to Mrs. Smith or Jenny or the mare ?” “ W'hy, the mare 1 Of course she dragged the carriage in with her, and Mrs. Smith and Jenny in it. All throe sank to the bottom, but the mare almost immediately struck out for shore, and Jenny clasped her by the tail. As they swam past Mrs. Smith, Mrs. clutched at her dress—” “ Not the mare’s d.ioss ?” “ At Jenny’s dx-ess, and this forced her to loose her hold upon the tall.” ££ 1 thought yon said Jenny had hold of tixe tail ; not Mrs. Smith.” “So I did. Mrs. Smith had hold of the—the —I mean, yes, Jenny had hold of the marc’s tail and Mrs. Smith had had hold of her dress,” “ Whose dress, Jenny’s or the—” “ You know very well what I mean. Mrs. Smith held on to Jenny and Jenny to the mare, but Mrs. Smith pulled her loose, unintentionally, of course, and as the mare swam off Mrs, Smith said to her—” £i To the marc ?” ££ You think you’re smart now, don’t yon ? You know well enough I mean Jenny.” ££ Well, then, Jenky said to the mare, what ?” ££ I’ve got a notion to punch your head for you, you scoundrel.” ££ What did she say that for ?” ££ I came in here,” said Mr. Smith, fiercely, ££ to give you a first-rate item, and I was going to tell you what Mrs. Smith said about the marc being dragged from the water and how she turned somersaults all the way home ; hut hanged if i’ll dofit now.” The reporter rose slowly, and elevating a chair to ward off the missie, he calmly inquired : ££ What object had Mrs. Smith in trying somersaults all the way home ?” The people who saw M.r. Smith came down stairs and emerge from fixe front door say he looked as white as if he had just seen a ghost.