WAR STORIES.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LVII, Issue 234, 12 March 1915, Page 2

WAR STORIES.

WHERE IT HE WAR RUMORS COME FROM.

(By Twells Brcx). I met him on the "moving staircaise | at Oxford Circus. He omitted to step off with the right leg, and performed a sort of cake-walk that landed hiin. in my arms. I balked him on his feet again, and picked up his hat. He was a very little wizened grey man. He looked very weary, very" jaded, and Jus gripped a dingy little brown bag as though it 1 feit sorry for him. "I ho'pc you. are" not shaken, sirf "Yes, to tell the truth, I Jim," he answered irritably, "'the company, are to blame. > distinctly put roy left ley llrst" ' "Hut the notice says 'right leg first.'"Of course it does—all the more reason, to use the left Jug. Twice to-day I Have already been deceived. The_ weathe forecast said 'Rain,' so I left my umbrella at home Look at this hat as the. result" (Hi* old silk hat was pitted with rain smudges.). "A porter at Charing Cross told me to turn to the left for Waterloo. I turned therefore to the right—and got in a train that took uio to the Monument." ■•Well—wasn't that your own fault? Why not believe what you are told!" He laughed, an extraordinary laugh—a high, acrid cackle, a laugh that seem, oil older than time or laughter itself. People tunwd curiously and looked at us. "Believe—believe—" he croaked, "I believe—oh, it's too .funny. I say—" he broke of!—'' That fall's hhnken me; have you got ten minutes t» spare',' —come in this Lyons', und have a cup of tea— I will tell you something." The weird little man strange Interested me. lie was' repellcutly unique. I fill in with hip suggestion, and he seat* ed himself opposito inn tit n wiarbletopped table. The impression (icepened that lie Was, to say the leost. "touched." When the waitress brought his tea, '>e glared at her and rapped out, 'Ms it tea? If you have given mo anything else [ will report you to the company." (The waitress shrank back, recovered her Cockney spirit, told him pertly to taste it, and let her know It it was ginger ale, and swung liersfilt away. "Is it tea?" lie asked of mo- wisp'iciously. '"Paste it and • tell me." Il'i was an extraordinary cus- '• tomer; I assured him that it was tea, and' z nothing else. He looked at me narrowly '• and then drank it. It Deemed to refresh ' him. He cackled again, making a youth behind us drop a box of dominoes with , appalling clatter—leant forward and , said, "You did me a little courtesy— H who knows." Ha opened the little shah. I'. by bag. i,- "Who knows what?" X ask«d. I. "Who knows who I am," 1 "Who are you J" 1- "I'm Ananias." '■ Strangely cnougfi, T 3c.ti.n<><l him. It d seems ridiculous now that I should have believed Ananias. I don't attempt to> oxplain the paradox.—but there It is. "What are you doing here I"' was my question when I had recovered 1 myself. For answer he cackled again (not so loudly—perhaps he noticed how it made the people jump), dived a yellow hand into the brown bug, and handed me a dingy sheet of paper, covered with crabbed and archaic handwriting. "That's what I am doing," he sniggerod--"bus-iest time I ever had. jn my life. Never had such successes. Wlio.'f, about that Russian yarn—all wine—forty million people all believe it. Bless your heart, 1 hadn't a chance in tile old days. Give me the twentieth century, it's aplcas- '• ure to live in it." I turned to the sheet or paper. It a was headed, "J. Ananias, Kqiort sheet a of work done, from August 4th, 1914, to r —" and then there was a blank. 0 "Report to whom?" I asked. f "Shan't tell you." lie snapped. "Read n the report, that's telling you enough." ; i And as he stirred his second cup of -. tea-(first nibbling the sugar to see that - it was not rock salt), I read as follows: Russians in England— tnotc, huge e success). Crown Prince wounded. Zeppelin over Penge. Crown Prince capture! Admiral • executed in Tower 3 Crown Prince assassinated. Italy joins in. Crown Prince seriousiy ul. i Germany sues for peace. i General executed in Tower. Crown Prince killed again. Hushed up death ol liaiser (huge suc--1 cess).

"So it was you nftej- all -n-lio has done all this—you old vagabond," I flamed out. "Yes it was I," >i« answered proudly, How could anyone for a moment have attributed finished work like that to anyone else? Amateurs? bah! local wiseacres, pooh I practical jokers, pish' There 's only one old firm of 'Annjas, bapplnra and Company,' And we're neutrals, too; take no "sides, but stick to our work. Turn that paper over, and sec what my inestimable partntr has been doing in Germany, f ,jcn't like to admit it—but she, beats wm me >\s far as that, goes, even with "you amaturs lierc was never a tr-ai. who c.uM equni a woman. Just look nt'Sappy's excfllcnt work in Germany." I turned, over, and read: Civil war in Ireland. British Labor party firm for Germany Mutiny in India.' ' Be Wet besieges Capetown. Food shortages in Great Britain i London, fearing Zeppelins, living j„ cellars. 6

■Kgypt rises. Fierce dissensions Detwoen Allies British Fleet hiding in harbors .Kitchener's New Army revolts Belgium sues for separate peace "Not bad for four months," cackled that horrible old man. "Now, if only youll promise me that von will talk about it, I'll toll you to.day's news. A great Allied force have landed in Schlcs-Wig-Holstem and "

I snatched my pay ticket, tlmist back >n>M-ha,r, and walked away from him IT, followoil me i,p tho stairs, and caught [ r-v arm m Ins crooked grip i„ tho street. '•■'. li-i, ho gibed, -you C a n w] , j Pie m England who still believe that K .sßmn story, and your dull old woman iiutli will never dissuade thorn She «m't touch the old firm-'Ananias Sap! jrfnra and Company,' established nearly str£n«» U yCarS ' and still s °' m "\

JTe cackled so abominably that a policeman looked narrowly at us Ire strained my desire to knock hi s 'hat off ; S :, ,n VT ba T,° ,lim t0 P fck s * "PJ ind waited hurriedly off in the fog.