Stratford News

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIV, Issue 286, 30 May 1912, Page 3

Stratford News

From our Resident Reporter. FOOTBALL We are looking forward to a good game of football this afternoon between Stratford and Tukapa. The Tukapa men are_ reported to bare ,been in solid training all the week, including an afternoon on the beach. Don Cameron 19 still missing from the Stratford team, although he put in some practices this week. He was not keen on playing at the beginning of the season, so his place was filled, and the policy of the selector is to give preference to the men who have turned up regularly to practice, and helped the club to 'fulfil its engagements. If Tukapa lose bo-day they are out of the hunt. HUNTING.

J The North Taranaki Hunt Club's second meet in the Stratford district takes place to-day. The New Plymouth contingent will arrived by the second train. The hounds will throw off ,at Mr. G. Sangster's farm. Beaconsfield road, at one o'clock. Mrs. Hugh Richmond will provide afternoon tea. THE CAMP "CIRCUS." Tlie staff officers entertained the "casuals" in camp at Waverley on Monday night, with a circus performance. It was great, so they say. Captain Dampen, who seems to know the right way to go about the management of men, and was therefore eligible as ringmaster, was master of ceremonies, and he varied his duties by giving some capital impersonations. A circus without a clown is inconceivable. SergeantMajor Mahoney was the very man for the job, and he kept the fun going merrily, some of his comicalities bein.o»' above the ordinary. There was an elephant; we must not forget that. He was an intelligent elephant, Sergeanti Majors Brown and Barrell being the moving spirits of him, with SergeantMajor Bond as the elephant tamer. [There was a "strong man." Sergeant- ! Major Dallinger. with a couple of great blackened pumpkins, one at either end of a tent pole, did all the regulation "lifts." 4Oolbs. I think, straight above the head. The last great lift of the night was supposed to be one of lofllbs in one hand, the weight to be takpn lup and raised to full 'height above his head. The Ringmaster challenged anv man in the "house" to repeat the performance, and offered £5 to anyone who could do it. A candidate was forthcoming, and the beads of sweat stood out on the Sergeant-Major's forehead as he went through the performance again. And then, whilst the would-be "strong man" awaited his turn, the weight, which, upon closer inspection, greatly resembled a darkened football bladder, was hoisted out of sight by,Sergeant-Maior Hesp, who was "no slouch" as bellman and ticketseller. His "gag" as he exhorted all and sundry to "pass this way and see the greatest show on airth, sir," was very original. Sergeant-Major Dallinger also contributed some Tom Sawyer Americanisms. "The Spotted Babe from Peru" was impersonated bv Sergeant-Mai or McCarthy, who stands about Rft din. and weighs about 18 stone. Needless to say, he looked the part. Sergeant Major Okey figured as the lady tightrope performer, and he did well. His "get-up." and. in fact, the "get-up" of the whole show, was too funny for words. There was a circus band, of course, with the usual cornet flourishes, and a chorus. The boys voted the show i immense, and greatly . appreciated the trouble taken by the officers to entertain them.

"VANITY FAIR." At His Majesty's Theatre to-night the ,regular weekly change takes place.). The management has secured, at a fairly large expense, the greatest drama that the Vitagraph Co. has ever produced, entitled "Vanity Fair." In their last great production the popular Vitagraph Company has completely eclipsed all previous efforts, and won many thousands of new patrons to picture theatres in all parts of the Knglish- ' speaking world. "Vanity Pair" is a ' fitting subject for such an elaborate i! and expensive production. The picture is in three parts, the full length running into over 3200 ft. of film. The first reel opens when Becky Sharp (Helen Gardner) returns from boarding school and bashful Joseph Sedley (John; Bunny) falls desperately in love, and becomes her devoted slave. From thence on the many adventures of the fascinating but unscrupulous Becky are faithfully followed, right to the time when Major Dobbin and Amelia visit her in her poverty. She at first refuses aid. but with a dawning realisation of the emptiness of her former life, goes with them to begin a new and more creditable existence. An "all-star", programme is advertised elsewhere. ! GENERAL NEWS. , There has been precious little happening to-day. The weather is mild for ! this time of the year, which perhaps : has something to do with the scarcity j of news. ' The Presbyterian Church in Stratford is without a pa-stor just now. The pulipit has been supplied from other towns i lately, the Rev. T. IT. Roseveare and IMr. E. Bishop, of New Plymouth, each having taken services. On Sunday next the Rev. B. Metson, Primitive Method- ■ ist, will preach at the morning service, ;and the Rev. A. Read'- of Wesley : Church, in the evening. Tli'"-» w evidently a spirit of union abroad --"inus i the churches. Mr. Bishop will take the (services in the Primitive Methodist and (Methodist Churches during the absence 'of the gentlemen above-named. I Influenza is laying his victims low. Catch a man with half-closed eyes, and he will tell you he has "dot a hold i' the doze." TTe has got influenza. Tell him to try anvmoniatecl quinine, or a mustard plaster, and he will consign you and your cures to that "burn" whence no traveller returns, and to which, as he way tell you, he has already consigned about twenty nostrum's recommended by sympathising but annoying acquaintances and friends. Strange, isn't it, that there arc so many infallible cures, and yet so many dreadful colds? A motor-car standing in front of the County Hotel this morning was decorated with a tag that had evidently been j lifted from a neighboring draper's. "Sale price, Is," fluttered gaily from the hood. j Talking of motoring reminds me of jthe related adventures of a motorcyclist who came through from Onunake to Stratford the other night. TTe left the coming Brighton of the south at about a quarter past six o'clock, after a big struggle with his acetylene lamp. TTe nearly overshot the turning into the Eltharn road, and in trying ■1 to go round a bit sharp he overturned ' the bike and shot across the road himj self to the tune of a sputtering motor. I TTe rose to an accompaniment improvised on the moment, and none the less \ fluent from the fact that he had several i inches of "gravel rash." Near Te Kiri his front tvre punctured with a loud report. A four-inch nail had to be ex-

(traded, and the tube repaired—no easy J job in the dark. 'Half a mile farther, /and out went the light. It Was pitch dark, and the cyclist did not know what to do. Ho! a light in the distance. He pushed the heavy machine to the house, and nearly fell on the neck of the man who told him he had any amount of carbide. Another start was made. The road was greasy, and spills were frequent. At Riverlea a farmer's son failed to see the h'w acetylene lamp or to hear the puff-puff of the engine, so he got knocked over, and so did the_ cyclist. A mile of mud near Kaponga was negotiated on foot, and the rest of the journey to Eltham was made by the cyclist partly on his hands, partly on his head, partly on his feet, and, when the bike would, let him, partly on the machine. Briscoe's Hill was 'impracticable. Near Ngaere, another puncture, and still that greasv road. Here he borrowed a gig, and left the bike till called for, arriving in Stratford at somewhere- about eleven o'clock. It was extremely hard luck that the licensed houses in Stratford closed at ten.