ASTONISHING THE NATIVES

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIV, Issue 276, 18 May 1912, Page 2 (Supplement)

ASTONISHING THE NATIVES

THE WIIITI-; MAX'S MAGIC. The Cape to Cairo and other adventurous railways which arc now thru-t----ing their relentless steel tenacles daily deeper and deeper into the regions where, until a comparatively few years ago, a. white man was a ram avis, are rapidly familarising the natives with the steam engine, It had- an appaling ell'eot on King Cetewayo, who was brought to England at the close of the Zulu war. The neverceasing flow of London's traffic, and its accompanying rour anil bustle, used to make tlie pour monarch quake with terror, hut a steam engine rushing full tilt into a station 011 the Underground demoralised him to sueli an extent that lie incontinently lied I'rom the sulphurous monster, an<J nothing would induce him to return! He and four Zulu satellites, by the way, are credited with- having slaughtered and eaten a whole sheep in the drawingroom of the ex-potentate's apartment near Hyde Park. Strange to say the wheels of our railway carriages mystified the late Shah 1 of Persia more than anything else. His contention was that' if they were to stop suddenly, the rest of '"the train would go on, and there would be a ghastly smash-up. It was he, who, when alt a iShakespearean revival, sent a message to Juliet, intimating that if she would only give Romeo the cold shoulder and transfer her affections to him, he was quite ready and willing to give the sum of £SOOO for her. Balloons and lifts have proved endless sources of wonder to foreign potentates from savage climes, but one sable monarch—hailing from New Zealand, if the writer's memory, serves him correctly—derived perpetual amusement and delight from—what do you think?—the ordinary every day. or rather every night. opera hat! All the white man's supernatural machinations were as naught compared to this miracle, and his Majesty was quite content to spend the whole day and the good part of the evening opening and shutting his Gibus. ; Probably no more ignorant race, of white people exists than the Boers of the '"backbloeks." On being made prisoners during the war. they were' sent down to the coast, and the remarks made by some -of them on beholding the sea for the first time were decidedly unique. The largest piece of water any of them had previously east eyes on was generally some inland swamp or "vler," which although perfectly dry for part of the year would present some resemblance to a lake during the rainy season. One of these pastoral individuals, when the vast expanse of the South Atlantic burst upon his astonished gaze, ejaculated "Allemachtig! Does this vlei ever o-et dry." " The writer has a particularly vivid recollection of astonishing one native to an extent that exceeded his wildest anticipations. "It was in the time of the unrest just ''be'fo' de wah," and opening the front door of our lonely African homestead one morning just after sunrise, I discovered Umbonga sitting dejectedly before the stoop. After the customary "Saku bonas" I asked what was the matter. Umbonga said he was'nt at all well, and could I give him some "muti" (medicine)? I said "Certainly," and went inside for a box of seidlitz powders I had had up from Durban. Taking three blue one and three white ones (for a Zulu has a cast-iron interior). T dissolved them in separate pannikins. Then, on a mischievous impulse, instead of mixing the contents of the two pannikins and <'itusing the effervescence, I gave one pannikin to Umbonga, He emptied it instanter. Then I gave him the other, and the circus began! What the effervescence in his internal economy felt like I knolv not, but the outward and visible effects were really wonderful to behold. Umbonga, after a huge gasp of astonishment and terror, omitted a horrible yell, sprang high in the air, came down flat on his stomach, and at the top of his voice invoked the "Tnkosi pezulu" (Great Chief Above) and all the saints of the Zulu calendar to deliver him from this furious, fizzing devil that ha,d taken possession of his inside! To the dispassionate observer it was literary screamingly funny. When the. effervescence finally subsided Umbonga slowly rose to his feet, cast one glance of unspeakable reproach at my guilty self, and fled to his kraal.