ENGLISH KOPENICKS.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LII, Issue 354, 4 April 1910, Page 3

ENGLISH KOPENICKS.

f THK LIKI-:Aj.iXi.M."i.JfIT OFFICERS HOAXED.

The j.li'iii.-.ii Ma-vj u laughing heartily at a most impudent hoax which nas just been played on the commander and ollicers of the -Dreadnought by live young men and a young lady. Three of the men and the young huiy disguised themselves as Abyssinian princes, a f.mrth num passed himself oil' as Mr. Herbert Cholmomleley. Foreign Office Attache, and the fifth as He it George Kautl'nianit, ■a German, and interpreter to the princes, Travelling in a special saloon carriage from Paddingtun, the whole party went to Portland, whore they were received with roval honors by the Commander-in-chief 'and his stall' officers, and conducted over the llugship. They returned safely to London without exciting the least suspicion. All the princes wore van-colored silk sashes and turbans, set off .with diamond aigrettes, white gib,bah tunics, over which were cast rich flowing robes, and round their : Were s>^? ndert . g«m chains and jewelled neeklsoei. Their faces were colored a deep brown with a specially prepared ■powder, and half-hidden under dark false beards and moustaches, while, except in the case of the lady, their hair was dyed black and crisply curled. The young lady's make-up—she is described ■as good-looking, with very classical features—was precisely the same as that of the other princes, save that her long hair was bound up tightly on the top of her head, and she wore a black curly wig. The total value of jewellery worn on the princes was at least £SOO. "Mr. Cholmondeley" was not disguised at all, but Herr Kauffmnnn was made up as a xerj German-looking German. His hair and eyebrows were darkened; his smooth'face was covered with a rugged beard and ' a wild-looking moustache; his sldn was tanned to give the effect of Abyssinian sunburn; and he wore a dirty bowler hat with a dent in it and a rather shabby overcoat.

The Abyssinian language presented no difficulties to the=e daring English people. They learned a few phrases of Swaheli from a grammar hook which they purchased from the Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge, and that was the full extent of their knowledge of the Abyssinian tongue. But they did not use a word of it on the Dreadnoua'hib. They talkfed gibberish and nonsense that came into their heads, and the officers were duly impressed. The following is a specimen of the gibberish:— "Yembo inscara mihi scutala bonga astema hevashi shemel." A telegram was sent off from London to the Dreadnought in the name of Sir Charles Hardinge, of the Foreign Office, announcing the intended visit. The party were received on board the battleship by Admiral and his .staff in full-dress uniform, •while the ship's band played the Zanzibar National Anthem! An eighteen-gun salute was suggested, but the visitors gracefully waived the privilege, and with equal grace (and gratitude) accepted the Admiral's regret at having no one on board who could speak Abyssinian. While the princes were being shown over the ship "Mr. Cholmondeley" had tea with some of the officers, and invented for tneir benefit interesting biographies of the dusky chiefs. Everything passed off smoothly, and although the "princes" were feeling very nervous they concealed their real feeling, and audacity carried the dar. On the return journey "Mr. Cholmondeley" gravely told the railway officials that the princes could not have any meals served with the naked hand. There were no spare gloves on the train, and the officials consequently had to buy a few pairs, and the attendants who waited on the party at dinner appeared wearing grey kid gloves. . Since the story of the hoax leaked out the officers of the Dreadnought ha'--taken it in good part. The sheer audacity of the Jokers disarmed resentment. Plvmouth and Dover are chuckling mightilv at Portland's expense, and alreadr the Dreadnought has been nicknamed the "Black Prince." the "DarkHorse," "Black Bess," and the "Aethiopia"! "Mr. Cholmondeley" has received a pressing invitation to go for 3 cruise in a warship, but that young gentleman has—perhaps wisely—declined.—

LONGER AGO THAN YESTERDAY. Yesterday is not long ago, 'but eight year* is. To have been cured long ago and to have been well ever since, surely means a permanent cure. Here is what a Wanganui woman has to say about it: Mrs. Crutchley, Copeland street, Wanganui. says: "Eight years ago I obtained a supply of Doan's Backache Kidney Pills and used them for backache which had 'hitherto resisted all treatment. Pains in the small of the back used to trouble me a. good deal, but I am pleased to say that Doan's Backache Kidney Pills cured me, and permanently, for I have been free of the pains for eight years. Eight years is a long time, and it speaks well'for Doan's Backache Kidney Pills that I have had no return of the ailment, No one need suffer with backache when Doan's Backache Kidney Pills may be procured." The golden rule of good health is: "Keep your kidneys well." Doan's Backache Kidney Pills'keep the kidneys well. A word to' the wise is enough. Doan's Backache Kidney Pills are sold by all chemists and storekeepers at 3s per bottle (six bottles 10s Gd), or will be posted on receipt of price of Foster-Mc-Clellan Co., 76 Pitt Street, Sydney. But, be sure you get DOAN'S. 5