THE WORLD'S BEST STORIES.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LII, Issue 166, 7 August 1909, Page 3

THE WORLD'S BEST STORIES.

'IHE PKLNCE AND THE POLICEMAN. . The racing season being now at the height oi its fashionable swing (says Pearson's Weekly), we may recall the expeiieace that the late Maharajah of t'atiala once had at a Derby, lie had ieft the Royal enclosure, and sought to i make his way back, when a burly policeman barred his path. "Xo, you don t, my fine fellow," ho said, "we have no busking here at all events. You go buck and gat your banjo and try somewhere e.se.' It was not until one o: the Court officials came to his assistance, and assured the constable that he was realiy and truly not an itinerant musician but a ruling prince, that he was permitted to enter the sacred enclosure. j

The King, then Prince of Wales, laughed heartily when the incident was related to him. "Pat," as he was known throughout society, rewarded the constable with a sovereign "just to show there was no ill-feeling," us he put it. ALSO THE ADMIRAL, AXD THE I POLICEMAN. Most woU-known men will tell of a somewhat similar experience. Ivji instance, when, recently, the Colonial t'vess Delegates ami others went to Spithead for the groat naval review, m. .nan who was at the head and arranged the whole thing perhaps the finest j uay's stage-management ever performed | —was Sir John Fisher.

The great genius of this quiet little nan came out at its full on this occ.v < on. From a torpedo attack on tlie Dreadnought to the biack pin that fastened the rose he gave you everything had been fashioned in his quick brain. I And yet, so strange are' the ways of s uch big thinking men, he had left out himself in his calculations. He had thought of the comfort of,two hundred others and omitted himself.

So it happened that when the Pressmen were going on board the Volcano, which was to take them through the Fleet and on to the Dreadnought,'they all wore the badge that Fisher had gjiven them, and they passed unconcernedly along the gangway as the policemen nodded.

But the First Lord was held up. _ He was certainly a small man; a man in a queer hat and a frowsy brown overcoat —just the sort of man who would look for a free tea on the Dreadnought and any and everything else that cae. his way. So the cold-eyed policemen barred his progress on the gangway, and perhaps only the laughter of those who were crushing behind him got him on board his own pet battleship. Late r in the day Mr. Stead capped this incident with another.

"When I came out of prison," he said, "some misguided creatures got up a big reception for me at Exeter Hall. The trowd was something enormous. Everybody in London seemed to want to have i look at Stead—the gaol-bird. p Almost at the last moment I had fought my way to the door, and then the police would let me go no further. 'But,' I protested, 'I am Mr. Stead.' 'Look here,' said the Inspector, 'that game won't do. Try something fresh! We have already passed in three presidents to this meeting I'" However, Mr, Stead got in finally, He was liie the man who was to be hanged. The proceedings couldn't go on without him.

Lately Air. Stead has been going about with sonic sort of fancy button in his coat and the name William Stead written beneath it. It will be interesting 10 watch what sort of trouble that will land him into some day. It ought to make a story.

:«ii i ' * * • FROM THE AMERICAN BAR.

The following stories are told by Air. Arthur Train, nu American lawyer, in his interesting book, "The Prisoner at the Bar":

A certain judge, who had got into the way of using a regular form of expression when imposing sentences, was sentencing a man for the crime of stealing i ship a anchor, which he had carried iway in a dray drawn by six horses. • The judge, who could not escape from ■is regular formula, pronounced sentence :i these terms: "You have pleaded ,niiity to the crime of stealing a ship's inchoi"—then, raising his voice, he con.inued with perfect solemnity: "The •rime of stealing a ship's anchor is beoming entirely too prevalent. I sonence you to three years and a-half in irison."

"STUXG!" fn another case a judge who had a s;reut reputation for his bitter wit was -entencing a gambler, who appeared in i loudly-checked ycllow-aml-black suit with a red necktie and a large diamond horseshoe pin. The judge from .under his beetling eyebrows looked fiercely down upon him from the bench, and remarked with intense scorn: 'I sentence you to pay a fine of fifty dollars." "That's all r ight, judge," interrupted ihe gambler nonchalantly; "got it in my pants pocket."

""And to three years and six months n prison," continued the judge, with ii •light twinkle iu liis eye. "iluvo you :ot that in your pants pocket 1"

A CHANGEABLE MAN. lie has two capital stories of the obstinate juryman. A jury, after retiring to the juryrooni, found that they stood eleven to one lor acquittal, but that one happened lo be a very complaisant old gcnt)eman in a billycock hat, who, with his chin lesting upon the head of a thick bamboo cane, announced defiantly that he was ready to stay there as long as anybody. The hours dragged slowly by, evening drew on. and still the old gentleman obstinately held out. The jurors prepared to make a night of it. From time to time the old gentleman would con•cmplativoly suck the head of his bamboo cane.

Finally he fell fast asleep, and tlu cane fell heavily lo the lloor. Then one of the jurors picked it up and found to his surprise that it was hollow aiul filled with whisky. They passed the cane round, relieved it of its contents, and then awoke the owner. Slowly he lifted the cane to his mouth, sucked ineffectually for a moment, looked at his watch, and then arose with the announcement: "B'ys! I'm afther changin' me nioind." m » * FIXING A JURY. A frankly unscrupulous member of ihu Criminal liar told the following story at his own cxpciis.':His client was indicted for murder, and was, on the evidence, apparently guilty. The lawyer's only cha:ice, as lie 'bought, lay in trying to "work it .down" to manslaughter, which would get his client utf with twenty years' imprisonment. Accordingly, he told his clerk lo lieoiiic friendly with the jurymen, treat ihein to drinks, and see what he could do. The clerk reported that he had become very thick with the twelfth juror, who had promised to "hold om lor manslaughter,"

The lawyer told his client, and hoth ceased to worry about the result, as death no longer stared the prisoner in the face.

The jury retired and remained out iwenty-three hours. At the cud of that time, tired, dishevelled, exasperated, they filed into court, and returned a verdict of manslaughter. The lawyer warmly congratulated his client. 'As the jury were separating the old Irishman leaned over to the lawyer and exultantly whispered: "Jit-dud, 1 had tli' divil av a time av it! Elivin o' thim wore for lettiu' luui go entirely!"

THE KAISER'S .JOKE. . "Sovereigns in Slippers'' is the title of a new book in which Henri Xicolle, a Parisian man of letters; has collected anecdotes about tlie rulers of cVcrv country la tfurope, a kindly collection for the most part, containing nothing to annoy those with wl)o m the stories ,dcal.

Here is the. best story about the Kaiser: '

When he told J'rliii-e' von lluelow he was to be Chancellor, it wits evident 'from JJnelow'n face, that something about the appointment did not altogether please him. The Emperor pressed him to tell what it was, and \'o;i Buelow reluctantly explained that greatly as his wife would rejoice in Hurting lier hitshand appointed Chancellor, she. detested the palace of (he Cliancollcnc, as sho was a great housewife, and he was sum that tin- thought of tli,. mo n,. three months that would be uceded to clean Hie immense palace to, the pitch -die would want to would terrify her.

"Hou't let that V,»tb,<-r Von', my dnir Y°>l "»,cl".w. Il'reseut inv cuiiipl'iments if) the lli'iqcess. a!ld toll her thai, it will l>« ft avvnt pleasure to me to contribute lo making that business less dillicu't for her."

It was not a regiment of soldiers detailed for house-cleaning purposes that lame to the ['rim-ens, only a small parcel, which, on being' opened, was found to Qoutitia «, pyx«j of- swid, J