ALLEGED HUMOR

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 216, 5 September 1908, Page 3

ALLEGED HUMOR

WIIEKE l''fSll SLEEP. The children had just been reading (lie verse: ■■The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of iJau hath no where to Jav m head." " -Now," said the teacher, -can anyone tell me whether fishes have places to rest in as well as the beasts and birds? Do they go to sleep?" ''Yes, sir," replied the boy at the head of the class confidently. "And where do they go to sleep?" "In the bed of the "river, sir."

WHY HE OBJECTED. The maiden was weeping bitterly. The young man stood opposite her with Hushed cheeks and a troubled look oil his face. "Then your father has not waited for me to ask for his consent, but has conveyed his refusal through you?" " Yes, Algy, dear." (Sob.l "And you think there is no chains of his relenting?" ■' Xo-0-0." " Hut, Lucy, darling, what does your father see in me to object to? Diil he " lie said, Algy, that he couldn't see anything in you (sob), and that was why he objected to you." (Sob.) THE DUKE'S EMUS. Here is a delightful storv of the Diutc of Norfolk. The late Lord Lyons presented the Duke with a pair "of emus, which were called after the donor and his wife. Naturally everybody interested ill the birds hoped tha.t they would perpetuate their species at Arundel, but the hope did not seem likely to be fulfilled. This accounts for the intense excitement with which a man-servant rushed up to the Duke with the following announcement: " (Hi, if you please, your grace, Lord Lyons has laid an hegg!"

A. MISTAKE IN MEANINGS. -Mrs. Mukloon is proud of her boy. and his fine learning, and predicts thai he will make a noise ill the world, lie is getting on beautifully with his grammar, and knows the different meanings of ever so many words. The other day she had a practical proof of the extent of his knowledge. "Billie," she said, handing him a little red book and some money, "go to the baker's and pay him for last .week's bread. And don't forget 1 want a receipt." Twenty minutes later tiillic returned, with Hushed face, a big rent in his unmentionables, and minus cap and red book. ■' What's the matter': What have you been doing, and whore's the receipt?" asked mother. " Ain't got it," returned llillie sulkily. " When I asked him how he made bread, he said that was his business, and when 1 told him that J wasn't .0 leave the shop till he told me, he set the dog on ine. You had better go tor that receipt yourself, ma."