Random Reflections

Taranaki Central Press, Volume IV, Issue 367, 23 February 1937, Page 3

Random Reflections

By

“JOPPA.”

We have been treated recently to an outburst from a Cabinet Minister en the discourtesy with which he considered he had been treated. Into the merits of that particular case we have no intention of entering except to remark that touchiness itself is> a breach of high courtesy and a manifestation of vhat, in modern Jargon, has come to be known as “the inferiority complex." A noble mind is proof against imagined slights as is also the man quietly assured of his own position. But on the whole question of modern manners we Offer some reflections. Whether our manners are deteriorating may be open to question, but that they are changing 7s obvious. in an armed commdtoity, where *very man is a fighter with weapon readily to hand, manners perforce had *to be circumspect. The old Maori, like the old Highlander, was a gentleman, for when a slight, a discourtesy, or an insult was likely to meet with a sharp stab under the fifth rib, one had to be cautious. In the days of the duel, one had to be punctilious. The protection that modern society affords to each of us makes many an impertinence safe.

In the United States of America, where freedom of speech is not even curbed by a law of libel, bad manners can run riot without dread of reprisal. Indeed it must be admitted, that the emphasic on the freedom of the individual in our Western civilisation had led to a lack of courteous consideration of others in much speech-making and conduct. To an Oriental, especially a Japanese or a Chinese, we Westerners' are vulgar hobbledehoys, lacking all grace of demeanour, for these Eastern races lay much stress on the etiquette expected in all conduct. A

Chinese bandit may be about to torture hit victim, but he does it with an ironic graciousness which Would ba most soothing if it did not cause such painful intent. A Japanese may have every intention of robbing and murdering you, but he deals out to you an elaborate courtesy which adorns his sinister purpose with a weird beauty. We Westerners once had our own elaborate codes of manners. In the Middle Ages the knight with his rules of courteous chivalry was the ideal of a gentleman. Unfortunately hi', code Was restricted to his own class and Froissart's Chronicles offer grim witness to how easily the courteous knight forgot all mgnnei-s and human ity in dealing with peasants and burghers. The Black Prince might be the mirror of chivalry within his own set, but he was a brute fiend to the unfortunates outside hit' social circle. In the 17th and 18th centuries developed that highly artificial etiquette of an aristocratic society centering in the French Court, and of which in England Lord Chesterfield whs the exponent. But on the whole the elaborate etiquette of that age was but the veneer under which hid empty minds and corrupt hearts.

The French Revolution telle us what most folk felt about the manners of the old aristocrat. And yet manners are the art in the machinery of society. Good manners are necessary to well ordered intercourse and beneath true, courtesy must be a noble mind and a wise, kindly heart. For they demand insight into the character and viewpoint of others, 'self-restraint in the expressing of our own desires and feelings, and a potent forbearance with the opinions and actions of our fellows 1 . We need in these days to develop

a code of manners among equals, expressive, not of submission, but of courteous comradeship. w.e do so rests with the women of the nation —the mothers and the swfeet-hac-rti. It these expect and show themselves able to evoke courtesy from their men-folk and boy-folk we will develop high courtesy and chivalrous conduct; if not, well —it’s a bad locknut.

And some of the manners of the modern young woman worries us. It might be fine for old John Wesley to take the whole world as hie parish, but why do so, many young women nowadays take the whole world as their dressing-room? After all surely one’s toilet should be performed at home, even it it is with lipstick and face powder. And well —but we must not go too far —statistics in New 'Zealand show a sad lack of self-respect in more serious directions. Unless

we respect ourselves', we cannot win respect from others. To make oneeelf cheap is to be taken at our own valuation, and this 1 cheapening of self is the cause of much prevailing discourtesy.