Wit and Humour

Te Aroha News, Volume XVI, Issue 22472, 5 December 1901, Page 4

Wit and Humour

M’ 1 Kawdle: “I wish y.»u wouldn’t i itei rupL me every time I try to sa\’ .* • tuething. Do I ever break in when y • u are talking ? ” ~Mrs Jv iwdle: “No, you wretch! You go to sleep ! ” Mrs S hoppen.: “ Give me a d<>zen stamps, it you please.” Post Office Clerk : “ Yes’m. Twocent ? ” r Mrs Schoppen (absent-mindedly): “ Are they the best you’ve g.»t ? ” Haggles: “If I had such a cough as that I should do something for it.” Whiggins : “ That cough, my friend, is indispensable. When a life insurance agent calls to see me I turn it on, and he never stays longer than about three minutes.” , . “ I’m surprised at our minister,” said Deacon Straitlace. “He says all Christians should follow the bee as a model of industry.” “ Well, what’s the matter o’ that ? ” inquired his wife. “ Well, the bee works on the Sabbath same as any other day.” He: “Mother, Sis is always pinching me:” Mother: “ Why, then punish her with silent contempt; that means, you must do as if you did not notice it at all.” Sister (after a while crying) : “ Mother over the table he punishes me with silent contempt, and under the table he kicks me.”