Wit and Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2088, 24 March 1898, Page 2

Wit and Humour .

A girl who sings so early in the morning must have a sweet disposition. Not necessarily. She may have a grudge against somebody in the neighbourhood. * Why, ye ain't lookin’ yerself at all, Bob!' * No. Reckon I’ll ’ave to chuck the force * ‘ Why what’s the matter?’ ‘ Doctor says I must posi ! tively take some exercise 1’ A number of persons were talking about telescopes, and each professed |to have looked through the largest in the world.’ One after another told of the powerful effect of the respective telesc pos. At last a quiet man said mildly, * I once looked through a tele- : scope. I don't know as it was the largest in the world; I hope it wasn’t. But it brought the moon so near that we could see the man in it gesticulating wildly and crying out ’ Don't shoot! Don’t shoot!’ The Void foil thought it was a big cannon that we were pointing at him.’ .The quiet man subsided, and so did all the rest. Magistrate (to prisoner)‘You were caught in the act of opening a bedroom window.’ Prisoner: • Yes, your worship. I believe in hygiene, and I was only going to open it an inch or two for the benefit of the occupants’ health. It’s frightfully unhealthy to sleep with your bedroom window completely shut up, your worship.* Shopman: ‘I wouldn’t like to cut this piece of lace just for one yard, madam j and, besides that isn’t enough to trim anything.’ Shopper : ‘Oh ! I didn’t want it for trimming; but it’s so nice to have a piece of lace in the house as an heirloom, you know.’ A FORECAST FOR APRIL. Te Aroha Sport (who has just shot at a duck): ‘ I think he’ll come down, Jim.’ Jim : ‘Oh yes, he’ll come down right euough—wbenhe’s hungry.’