Wit and Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2075, 5 February 1898, Page 2

Wit and Humour.

Poor Pat had a bad fall from one r of his windows. A short time after & gentleman meeting him asked if', he ; ;; hurt himself in his fall. Pat answered,, “ No, yer honor, I didn’t hurt misijf in my fall j ’twas only when I stopped that I hurt misilf 1” - ' A scolding wife for years had made her husband’s home A furnace. Sue was induced to attend a religious mei - ing, and||eturned with a sanctimonious face, saying that seven devils had been cast out of her. The husband say# there are about a thousand more to be accounted for. Willie Smith was playing with the Jones boys. His mother called him and said, “Willie, don’t you know those J ones boys afe bad boys to play with ?” “ Yes, mamma,” replied Willie, “ I know that; but don’t you know l am a good boy for them toplay In the Municipal Court. Judge fto stuttering prisoner in charge of Irish policeman) : “ What is your name,?’’ Stuttering Prisoner: “Ch-ch-fch-ch-.-— ’’ Judge (to policeman) : “ What is the man charged with ?” Policemen: -> “Yer Honor, I think he must be charged with soda wather 1”.

Connie is a great favourite local curate, and when he drbpsin bl a ' morning he .sometimes stops talking to her till the mid-day meal. « You like me to come ” he asked her the ether da /; “ Es », said the little maiden. Mamma always makes somefln’ hiob for lunch when ’oo come.”

An Irishman, on being asked by his employer to do apiece of Work whichQi was a, little hard, retorted, “ D’ye thing I m going to kin meself to keep

Two cannie Scots, walking- to Ancbterrauchty, saw an uncouth figure standing in a distant field. After gazing intently one said: “It’s never moving, so its a fatta (potatoe) bogle ” (scarecrow), . “ It’s no a tatta bogle/* rep led the other, “ it’s a man working by the day.” s