THISTLEDOWN.

Te Aroha News, Volume XI, Issue 1724, 23 March 1895, Page 2

THISTLEDOWN.

“ A man may jest and tell the truth.” —Horace. By a slight error, due I believe, to obscurity ou my part,.l was made in my last to call Mr Green way, the Cassell Co.’s manager, a man of straw,- ’ I applied the term to the coKespondent he was reply ing to. * * a. & In dealing with errors in English as coinuiouly written, 1 ommitted two very general solecisms. Cricketers in Auckland very ordinarily speak of so and so being ‘ liable' to make a big score, and the Colonial Treasurer last session Ipofee several times of men ‘ entitled ’ to pay land tax. Now, I can understand a man being liable to be bowled first ball or ; bein< entitled to exemption from land tax; A friend thinks Mr Ward’s expression justified by what be calls the well known honesty and law-abiding nature of -Eng> lishrnen, but having only a fractional part of Euglish blood in my veins 1 decline to accept this complimentary explanation. In fact, for any, even plausible, justification of the phrase we mu-.t go to Ireland, where it is equally correct to say * Foley has a right to pay or to receive money from Brennan.’ It appears, therefore, that Paddy’s conscience is at least as sensitive as John Bull’s. .

There is, in fact, a lot of nonsense talked about Englishmen being law-abid-ing, and Irishmen the reverse. The former have made their own laws for centuries and therefore ought naturally to respect them. How far they do actually obey them may be seen bv a casual perusal of say one copy of Lloyd’s Weekly News. Irishmen, on the other hand, have had alien laws forced on them, alien in spirit alike to their religion, history, national habits and customs, including the most barbarous penal coda ever invented compared with which the laws of Draco, written in blood though they were said to be, were inild as mother’s milk. It would be a disgrace to Irishmen to have been loyal to such laws, and the years of legislation according to Irish ideas have been too few to alter this spirit. Take, however, any _ legislation with - which the national spirit is out of sympathy, and see how far it is obeyed. . Take the game laws for instance. * The primast fun going, and if I were the Squire I’d be at it every night.’ A slightly prejudiced Irishman might add tho laws” for the protection of wives from brutal assault. Irishmen don't beat their wives till they come over to England to be civilised.

The craze some men have for piling letters implying titles after their fumes is wonderful- A copious writer in the Herald with an equal craze for parading his extensive reading in voluminous footnotes is a . notable example. The way, too, in which the Professors of the Auckland University College are beslobbered with their titles in private life is simply sickening. 1 Another slice of mutton, Professor?’ *M>y I trouble you for the butter, Pr 'feasor ?' And so on ad nauseam. In these days when every one from flea-trainers to horse-tamers calls himself Professor, the title is tmeak as much “as posable by the genuine article.

The assumption of the title ‘ doctor’.by phyxicianb who have not the degree of.. ~ M.D., though sanctioned by long u*age. *; The only genuine foundation for correct speech, is resented by some who do possess the degree which in any decently regulated University implies a previous degree in some more general subject as arts or science. I have known, on the other hand, a physician with the degree of Bachelor in Medicine who abstained from proceeding to-the doctor’s degree, and re-seoted-thd title as an imult. This was, however, in the good old day’s wliep certain Scotch Universities sold the doctorate. Now it is hardly necessary to say Scotch medical degrees ritnk as high as any. . .

Even now most of the gentlemen you see parading the letters D D. or L.L.D, after their names, have simply paid their forty or fifty pounds, or as is often the ettflo with school masters, had it paid to them by grateful parents, and written an essay on a subject as often as not of their own choosing, or got some one else to write it for them. A guinea or two was easily earned in that way by, and often very welcome to, a poor Dublin scholar. • 9 o o

I may conclude with a Scotch yam on the subject. A minister, being the lucky possessor of a few pounds, became the S-ond possessor of the title 1 Doctor of ivinity.’ Calling in bis servant, be addressed him somewhat thus. ‘Now, Sandy mou, gin any one calls, you must mind to say, Ghedoctoris in the etedy, is writing hie sermon,’' and bo on. ‘A’ right, meenister,' replied Sandy, 1 but ye maun mind too, gin any one spiers for Sandy, to say, ‘ the doctor's in the. gairdeb, the doctor i* feeding, the coo,' etc. ‘ How's that Sandy.’ It turned out that Sandy fiudiug the degree so ebeap had invested in it also, on the principle that 4 Jock should be as good us bis maister.’ lapyx.