He Did Get Off.

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 392, 10 August 1889, Page 3

He Did Get Off.

I * I'm gwine to Staunton to my grandson's Pete Rawlins,' said an old man in a long 1 yellow coat and a billy goat beard. ' Know him ?' ' No,' said the conductor. 4 Know any of his folks down in Sfcaunton ?' Just then the whistle blew, and the old man jumped up and tried to get past the conductor, who held him down by main ■ strength. The white hair of the old 4 crackor ' fairly stood on end, and ib was j several minutes before he calmed down enough io count his change. At the next station, when the train stopped, he gathered up his belongings and made for the door, but was stopped before he could get off. This attempt he made at every station, and finally tho conductor went to him saying: — ' Look here, old man, you ji&b set still and don't move till you hear the brakeman holler Staunton, then you get off ! See ?' He sat there .awhile quietly, and then began to question the rest of the passengers as to their acquaintance with Staunton and its people. Thinking I could derive some entertain])' mont, from him 1 changed my seat to the 1 front of his, and, turning round, addressed some words to him with an amiable and seductive smile. Ho looked at me a moment, and .solemnly took his musty leather wallet from his side pocket, and thrust it deep down .into his> boot, saying — 'Now, then, young man, what do you want to know, oh ?' Thib action set the entire cay lull of people roaring with laughter, and almost brought a blush to my cheek, which sensation had .scarcely gone when tho brakeman opened the door and veiled ' Staun ton !' We weie at the moment crossing a trestle, about fifty feet in height, upon the slanting, heavily wooded side of a mountain. We could look down the hillside over tho tree-tops, and see a silvery stream threading its winding way through a black and dark swamp. The old settler rose' quickly at the sound of the brakerpan's voice, picked up his belongings, and going to the platform stopped right off. Ac we passed we got one glimpse ot him sailing down. Somebody pulled the bell • rope, stopping the train at once, and a re- < lief part}' was organised, which went'down bhc mountainside until we came to the spot where he struck first, a tall hemlock. It looked like a gigantic Christmas tree. Pendent from its branches- were socks, collars, handkerchiefs, chewing tobacco, chickens, rolls of butter, fancy goods, ham sandwiches, boots and shoes, notions, suspenders, shoe laces, band boxes, samples of cloth, hardware, and gents' furnishing goods. Further down the hillside we found some patent medicine bottles, the old umbrella, tho butter crock, and the plug hat. Then we reached the old man, who was up to his waist in black mud, busily engaged in washing the same mud from 1 a whisky flask \\ hich he had somehow managed to retain in his pocket through all his exciting fight. He Mas as cool as a cucumber, and when wo yanked him out of the mud, remarked : ' This yere railroad travelling do beat everything, don't it ?' We climbed up the hill, gathering his belonging? as we proceeded, and when we arrived at the train the conductor angrily inquired, ' What in thunder did you mean by jumping off' like that ?' ' Why, my friend,' blandly answered he of the goat-like beard and shattered garments, 'you told me yourself ( to get, off when Iheard the brakeman holler, " Staunton," and I got off.'