CURRENT TOPICS. (By Zamiel in the "Auckland Star")

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 390, 3 August 1889, Page 3

CURRENT TOPICS. (By Zamiel in the "Auckland Star ")

E\ Kit since the sweeping assertions lately made with reference to the 'financial position of our various Friendly Societies, attempts have been in progress for rehabilitation in the watchful eye of the public, and the devices resorted to by the hard- woi king oflicials in their wellmeant eHorts to gain notoriety and a cheap advertisement are not only praiseworthy in the exticme, but will doubtless have due weight with intending members and possible detractors. One particular instance is that of a lodge who recently voted the munificent sum of £15 for the alleviation of a pitiful case of rliftrcss in this city, the re cipicnb being the wife of an erstwhile roombor now in the Lunatic Asylum, and who some little time previously had been good on the books for a period of ten year?. Tins munificent) sum of £15 was not '".aken from any particular kind, but as a sort ol preliminary, when the case came under notice, C 2 was voted for the relief of the mother and her four little ones ; her case ! was then passed on to the Benevolent Com'mitfcee, who narted with JCS, and this was augmented by., another £B— a vote from members qt the lodge, all of which sums were thankfully leceived by the alilicted wife from the bulging coffers of a lodge overflowing with friendship, and what the viorld is pleased to call " h'ltby lucre." I say ' ¥ bulging coders,'' for on reference to the article from which bhece e\~tiacts are taken, 1 imd that " the surplus in the sick fund, after providing for every contingency, amounts to £2,684, besides real property in the Management Fund amounting to t!b,()OO, making in all a surplus ot C 7,684 !" These figures follow close upon a noatly-voided resume of the lodge's very benevolent action, and they allord lood for reflection, to say nothing of the compaiibon that might be instituted between a munificent donation (from three bOiuccs) of £15, and the princely sui phi 1 * of £7,634. After giving some other valuable inioimation the articlo concludes as follows.: — " It would be Well if all the friendly societies in the Auckland distiict wore in the samo position as this lod^e." What does this mean ? Is it in reference to the donation of £15, the surplus of £7,684, or to a resolution deciding not to receive any more new entrants unless they aie relatives of the present members ? 1 am inclined to think the " position " refers to the Cl 5 donation, and although nob quite coinciding in the opinion, will concede that it wa? a master-stroke of policy, one that icdounds to the credit of the evidently farseeing oUicials, for they have bin own a small piece of bread (£l5) upon tho waters, and it has been returned to them a gigantic sandwich (an eight-inch advertisement). Uo wotmia-understand me, dear reader ! Do nob think I am oven attempting, to throw discredit on a charitable action. lam trying to show how soft-hearted and gullible tho average pressman is, and mention these facts so that when next you hear how fearfully hard it is to work a neat and cheap advertisement in tho daily press you will draw attention to the surplus of £7,684 and the munificent sum of £15 donated by a lodge absolutely bubbling over with benevolence and friendship. Those very estimable, long-suffering, and highly neceesary adjuncts to the community — tho guardians of the poace — are popularly credited with possessing amongst their attributes a well developed fund of humour, often expending itself in an unrehearsed piece ot light comedy business that is, to say the least ot ib, refreshing to Court habitues. It often happens, toQ, that these limbs of the law seem perfectly oblivious of any attempt to tickle tho car of the groundlings when giving evidence or replying bo any of the numerous questions forced upon them until apprised of tho fact by a semichorus of laughter that is as promptly nrosfed by their ofi'cnded look of dignity as ib is by the stentorian cry ot " .Silence !' r v * So'iio lifctlc tinio since ono of these mon in blue was giving ovidonco in the Com t, L in a caso wheio a milkman was summon&ed

for allowing his cow to stray, during the preceding night, to the detriment of a wellknown citizen's garden, and in direct contrav'ontion of the by-laws made and provided. The counsel for the defence questioned MrEoberb pretty severely, and by-and-bye elicited an answer to the effect that he could posibivoly swear it wat a cow. He was then asked if the night was not a very dark and stormy one, to which he replied that it was not stormy, but certainly "very dark." "Then," said the counsel, with a confident air, "if it was so very dark, how is it you are in a position to 1 swear so conclusively it was a cow?" "Because," replied the imperturbable guardian of the peace, "I pat my bulli eye on her." it •* <• There was quite a bustle in Qucen-strocl one day last week. It was tied at a carttail going up the street, but nobody seemed to know how ib got there. However, there it went sailing proudly along and seeming to feel no degradation in its dishonourable position. Though old and ragged and brown, it did not seem in the least bib sab upon. Ib attracted little notice at first, but at last ono small boy caught sight of it and sboittcd, " Yah, hi, what's bhe bustle aboub ?" A number of other small boys ■were at once attracted by his cry, and caught sight of the innocent cause. They followed it up with hue and cry and many missiles, till the poor carter was obliged to stop. Then one of the youngsters seized ib and tied it up' prominently to a verandah post in the busiest part of the strecb. Still ib never blushed. A crowd soon collected as big as would havo gathered round a dog fight. All sores of suggestions were made as to what should be done with it, but nobody dared to touch it. There was a fominine glitter in its cold steel hoops that awed the bravesb man there. Meek men shivered at the sight and passed hm-riediy on, feeling their hair. Ladies walked calmly down till they came full on the crowd 5 saw the wretched object, giggled, and turned their heads away Afc length a stern policeman arrived on the scene and bade the crowd "Move on now." lie got a view of the article, and fora momenthis courage failed. Pulling himself together, however, he impounded it in tho Queen's name, and marched ib oft" to the station under his arm, followed by a jeering crowd of youngsters I believe it has since been condemned to be burnt by the common hangman. Thus has pride'had a fall. I am nob anxious to have much to do with the law, but now and then I drop into tho Courts to sec if there is anything worth noting. In one case the other day two children were called to give evidence. This evidence was" declarer to be of great importance, but because the children could not give an explanation of an oath, their te&timony could nob bo received. Both wero intelligent and truthful looking. "Nowisnobthisuidiculousandisnot this preposterous?" Practically theprcscnblaw says that unless a child has been brought up with a firm belief in Hades, and has had that belief rammed into its innocent brain through all its youth, its statements will nob be considered trustworthy Does any sane man think now-a-days that a child's e\idence will be made more truthful because it can define an oath, or can locate the plaoe of future punishment 0 A reform of the law of evidence is needed in this direction, so that if a magistrate considers a child intelligent and truthful, he may accept his or her simple statement ot the facts as evidence. It would be -well if repi'esentabions were made to that effect to the proper quarter, by tho°e who arc most immediately concerned with legal matteis. " And I said in mv heart, all men aro liars." Thus sings Israel's gicat King, and I may perhaps* be forgiven if this passago of Scripture came into my mind the other night when I wa= listening- to an Auckland minister. " Whenever I hear a man swear," he said, " I involuntarily close my lips and my pockets, for a man who will swear will pick your pockets." That seemed pretty severe, and as Zamiel wandered along the streeb and heard bhe varied expletives with which the Auckland youth is wont to garnish his discourse, he could not help thinking that, granting the trubh of the assertions of the pastor, then the expression of David might be fairly applicable to the inhabitants of this fair city. **# - • i Bub were the rev. gentleman's allegabions coriect? Zamiel is nob a pi ofessnr in the arcof using plain and ornamental adjectives, nnd ijeed not therefore defend its votaries, bub still he 'musL protest against such a wholesale charge being made against those who occasionally indulge in a good solid "cup?." How often do we find the good natuicd man of the woild who thoughtlessly uses an objectionable phrase without in the least meaning any luum. To say thab such a man is necessarily a liar or a thief is as absurd as it ii untrue. Then, again, turn to our sailois. They so readily swear bhab one word which bhe law setb down as obscene appears in one dictionaiy as a term of endearment among nautical men. ]n another section of the community we find thecool, calculating, " respectable" man, whose caution prevents him from swearing 1 , and also aids him to take an unfair advantage of those who are more i'reo of tongue and pocket. * * f t «■ r No, no ! my dear and reverend «ir ; you must really pardon me for dissenting fiom your expressed opinion thab swoaiors are invariably liars and thieves, and you must forgive me if I 'suggest thac such reckless assertions too frequently have the edect of discounting tho value of the most belling discourses in the mind of the listener. In this instance, ib is very probable the speaker "would seom to use a big big D, but I would like to hear his ejaculation if he suddenly and unexpectedly brought a hammer down on his thumb nail insteid of on the nail thab ought to have been struck, or whon the back button of his collar gave way while he was sibbing ab a concert in the company of his best girl, or even when, at> a victim of a joking schoolboy, he tat down on a bent pin, which" was thoughbfully placed in his seat. On such occasions, sirs, Ordinary language fails to give adequabe expression to one's idea, and one feels inclined to say something or " bust." Zamiel has invaribly taken a considerable, degree of interest in local institutions primarily intonded for the benefit mentally and morally of the great " British, Public," and if ab bimes he has felt coiisbrained bo aim a random shot at divers religious and semireligious organisations, still those bodies should take, as they generally have taken, f my fleeting remarks in the spirit in which they were intended, "ail for their good." The -Young Men's Christian Association is a body, of, in the main, earnesbroligious workers for whose operations and aims I have the greatest respect, bub there is a feature in connection with the working of the local institution on which I would very much like to give my fiiends of bhe V.M.C. A. committee a gentlo hint and ofici a suggestion. Thoro is a londing library of s-omo three thou&and volumes in the hands of the Association, and it could, if properly

stocked and overhauled,' be made a very ; valuable source of mental improvement and. recreation to the many young and old people of both sexes who are wont to resort to the big building in Albert-street for enjoyment and knowledge, tinctured with piety. As it stands Jit present, the library is a decidedly curious, combination of musty, theological literature of a Calvinistic type, ana good little Sunday - school storios, which the average young colonial would, I am afraid, scorn "reading, detailing say tho happy death -bed scenes of pious hymn-quoting juveniles in far-off lands, and other equally pleasurable narratives of a highly-coloured ultra-sanctimonious nature. True, there are a few high clashed, works of a fiction, but they are a vert/ few, and are, as might be expected, in a terribly dilapidated condition from the rush made fdv them by the devout maidens and youths visiting the building. Works of travel and books of a historical character are as scarce, and those that aro included in tho library ore quite out of date, hoary with age. in fact, for the collection appears to receive a few, very few accessions in the way of standard works of literature. * V * Surely tho Managing Committee can per" ceivo the fact that a very little annual expenditure only would be sufficient to olace the library in a first-class position as regards the quality of its contents. It is altogether un suited to the requirements of its hundreds of subscribers, and the ponderous theological tomes reposing on . the shelves of the library might lie there till Doomsday undisturbed for all the great majority of the y.M.C.A. frequenters know or care. Poetry appears to' be at a discount with the promoters of the institution, for there are only two small volumes of poems in the whole collection, unless twelve books of Methodist hymns can be classed under the heading of " poetry." •» X -Si- # v A few days ago a friend of mine, who is a fervent admirer of Lord Byron's genius, happened to inquire at the library counter for a copy of that paiticular individual's writings in the way of poetry. Ke might as well have inquired for a copy of Boccacio or the Decameron, for tho worthy custodian of the placo was aghast at the idea of " a person like that man Byron " finding a place in the Hot. of book-makers approved of by the watchful guardians of the V.M.C.A. My fiiend was about to remark that a volume of Shcllcv's poems would suffice instead, but could not muster up courage to pronounco the obnoxious name. Even the •'divine" Shakspero, Rabby Burns, Wordsworth, Coleridge, Popo, Goldsmith and hosts of others, are not admitted within the precincts of the library, but Di\ Watts holds the poetical fort. With all , deference to the religious feelings which appear to actuate the members : of the Managing Committee in their method of conducting the institution, . I would suggest that some mea=ure , be taken in connection with the library to ■ render it attractive to members and sub- i ccribers. In finding mental pabulum ( for those who support the Association the ] Committee should, a.- the least they could ( do, endeavour to cater to others likings as \ well as their own particular tastos. .