CAUGHT NAPPING

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 374, 5 June 1889, Page 1

CAUGHT NAPPING

An old judge on the Northwestern Circuit loved the hunting-Geld more than he did the sleepy court room His. clerk was like-minded, and a joyoui pair they made. One fine morning the cleric whispered to the judge : ' Yer honor, old Billy Duane's meet's to-day at Ballykillmulligan ; an' they've a fine dog-fox.' ' How many names are on the docket ?' asked the judge, excitedly. 'Twinty, for rioting and braich of the peace, yer honor ?' 'Tim,' said the judge, ' do you think you can get the first fellow to plead guilty without a jury trial, and me to let him off with a week in jail ? ' The aisiest tiling in the world/ answered the faithful clerk. -Make haste, then, and bring the whole gang ; and, I soy, Tim, Tell Jerry to saddle the mare meanwhile.' The twenty prisoners were brought into court — a defiant gang — nineteen of them prepared to fight Nith counsel and jury, to the bitter end. The twentieth had been interviewed by the clerk. He was called. ' Guilty or not guilty of the crimes charged ? demanded the judge, with a propitious smile. 'Guilty, yer honor ; heaven help me 1' said the crafty prisoner. ' Well,' said the judge, glancing benevolently about the room, ' I fancy I can let you off with a week,' The man thanked the judge and stepped down. There was a terriffic sensation among the other defendants, none of whom expected to get off with less than five years in limbo. Here was a chance to profit by ' his honor's pleasant mood. One and all manifested an earnest desire to follow the example of their comrade and acknowledge their crimes in a batch. IDo you all plead guilty?' demanded the judge, eagerly. 'Wedo ! shouted tho enthusiastic nineteen in chorus. 'Fourteen years' transportation apiece,' exclaimed the judge, with a click of the jaw ; ' Jerry, is the mare saddled yet '? — Exchange.

Says the Napier Herald : — America is now agitating for vote by ballot. This will be a great suprise when, if ever, it becomes known to the people who write and speak a great deal of America without knowing anything about it, and who suppose that because thut countiy claims to be fiee, ?he cannot be less free than England and her colouies. This agitation for what we have had for years should also remind the speakers ai.d writers aforesaid that, although most New Zealand Protectionists are ignorant of tho i'act, the day's work in America ranges from a minimum of ten hours up to sixteen in the trades. Among the unskilled matters are worse. In England the average day's work in the trades is nine hoiire, and in the colonies eight hours. The Bay of Plenty Times has the following: — Wo leain that Mr Isaac Coates of Elaniilton, who has had much experience in New Zealand fl.u: milling in the Waikato, is ccmimr to this dish ict to start a flax mill. We have no hesitation in saying that Mr Coates will be well rewarded for his enterp ise, as there is no district in tho North Island bettor fitted than the Te Puke and Maketu swamp lands for producing the best and largest crops of that now very valuable fibre ; in fuct there is tiny quantity of splendid New Zonland fl.ix now growing on these swamps. Wo see in an exchange that down South New Zealand flax land, recentl}' bought for a few shillings an acie is now leased to flux millers for L 7 an acre. Were thoTe Pukedrain cut, fully thousands of acres could be utilised for fl tx.