TOPICS OF THE DAY. (FROM OUR SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT.) London, March 22.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 367, 11 May 1889, Page 4

TOPICS OF THE DAY. (FROM OUR SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT.) London, March 22.

The Future Duohoss of Portland. The observed of all observed at the Ic e Carnival on Friday was the future Duches of Portland, who looked extremely well in an unpietentious Str^ian peasant's costume, and must have collected a perfect fortune in pennies for the charity. Miss Dallas-Yorke's father is but little known in London, having u rooted objection to leaving hi s beloved Lincolnshire, but report speaks of him ass a well-informed country squire of bucolic tastes. Mrs DallasYorke has the reputation of boinjf somewhat of an " old soldier," and it is possibly a fact that (as some ill-natured people whisper) the Duke would have proposed last season but for her rather too obvious maternal mameuvres. However that ma\ be, His Grace now looks a very happy man, and a handsomer couple than he and his fiancee make it would be difficult to find in London. The Duke has leased Lord Bradford's big house in Belgrave Square for himself and his bride, and made over his present residence to Lady Balsover. He has also sent the Bentinck family jewels to be reset and valued. Messrs (iarravd appraise them worth £250,000, the diamonds more especially being peerless stones.

A Carious Story. Tho club flaneur* declare that Lord Randolph Churchill is, for certain personal reasons, anxious to be appointed Governor at the Cape, and that but for unexpected opposition at the highest quarter he would have obtained his wish. " Randy," ifc seems is the reverse of a persona grata ab Court. His bumptious egotism and blustering manner have more than once seriously offended tho Queen, who was glad (no doubt in a majestic manner) to find a means of annoying him. 11 Is it true," an old courtier once asked in the Royal presence, " that Lord Randolph goes in for Socialism ?" "Yes," acidly replied Her Majesty, "the Socialism of self."

Eloped With a B^rm^id. ilr Gent-Davis, the ex-Conservative member ioi'Kennington, whose misdeeds in con necb'on with certain trust moneys, you may remember, led to his incarceration in Holloway Castle for some months recently, and whom the Judge congratulated on having escaped penal servitude by the skin ot his teeth, has now capped his previous misdeeds by eloping with a barmaid. Why he should have done so no one can conceive. Ki.» wife is young and pretty, and they have (she pays) always lived on excellent term.s. The little woman's kindly explanation is that financial anxieties have rendered her husband temporarily "dotty." Perhaps so, but barmaids are a queer form for " dottiness "' to take.

Bashful Fifteen. Mr Gilbert's modest young maiden of fifteen, shy as a gazelle, and all "prunes and prUms" istonfches one at times. My friend Percy "Flarge sat next one of these damsels, a mild young lady with a pink frock and a pink complexion, at dinner the other night. "All dinner," ho says, "she murmured naught but 'Yes,' or 'No;' nt dessert, however, when I offered her a banana, she staggered me (as these simple gyurls sometimes will) completely. ""Bo you like bananas ?" I asked, as &he was peeling her fruit. "No," she said, "I prefer the oldfashioned night-gowns. But Tom has them." I was so staggered for the moment that I couldn't say a word, and it was not till the ladies left the room and I had repeated the remark that it bGgan to dawn on me Mis&y meant riyjaina*.

A Popular Naturalist. The death of tho Hey. J. 0. Wood deprives the world of a popular writer on all naturalist subjects. He completed, I should think, quite a score of handbooks on bees, butterflies, shells, flowers, seaweed, anemones, etc., etc., which were at one time widely read, especially by juveniles. "Biographers of Mr Wood aver that ho was like Frank Buckland and Professor Poulton (with whom the present writer went to school), a "grubby" boy. An undergraduate friend of his recalls going for a day's butterfly catging with him in Buerley Wood, at Oxford, and securing to Wood's great delight, fourteen " painted Indies." On their return to College and Wood's rooms the friend noticed a pot stewing in front of the fire, which, from the savoury smell, he judged must be some tasty accompaniment to the tea-table already spread. The contents proved to be a little kitten, a general favourite, which it had occurred to Wood would be just as good as boiled rabbit. The visitor did not partake, but he winds up his reminiscence — "You see bis love of animals was very strong." This rather reminds one of the savage chief who was questioned as to the character of a deceased missionary who had \ been labouring in his neighbourhood. "Was dear Mr Devildodger a nice | man ?" " Oh, yes ; urn werry nice !" "But was he thoroughly tenderhearted ?" " Oh, yes. Urn werrv tender-hearted, Me eat urns heart, so me know !"

The Beauty Show. The Beauty Show which Mr Howard Paul is organising for Messrs Pear* will, no doubt, be a great success from an advertising point of view, but I doubb if ib will

cause one half the fun thnb the f ' Handsome Man Show," now being promoted by an enterprising Viennese restaurateur, is sure to create. The prizes are, ] sb, for the handsomest man ; 2nd, for the most killing moustacho ; 3rd, for the largest noso ; 4th, for the biggest bald head.

The "Times" Scapegoat. Mr J. C. McDonald has elecfcod to spare Mr John Walter tho necessity' of dispensing with his services, and retired voluntarily. Ho haa been for forty years on fche afcaff of the "Times," and only followed his employers' lead in Ihe matter of " Farnellism and Crime," but someone must be scapegoat for the Pigott/fcisco, and, on tho whole, Mr McDonald is tho most convenient person. Ho will be succeeded by Mr Arohur Walter. Tho shareholders in the " Times " are jrrumblincr sadly over their diminished incomes, which promise to become even smaller betoro all is over. How serious tilings are may be gathered from the iacb that one lady who has always hitherto had at least £2,000 a-year from the "Times," this year received £600 only.

A Fashionable Burglar. A veiy curious and painful story is going the rounds of socioty just now anent a newly-married couple who have suddenly soparated on the alleged ground? of incompatibility of temper, The husband is the younger son of a Viscount, and a good, nntured invertebrate sort of fellow of about 35, who married his wife (the wealthy widow of a German trader) for her money. The Jndy wn« not vory ranch in love with her suiter, bub she wanted social position which he could give her, and she took care to keep the control ot her fortune entiiely in her own hands. Mr Smith-Smythe (as I shall christen him) soon found, indeed, that lie was entirely dependent on his wife for supplies, and consequently tried his best to kcop her in a good temper. Mrs Smith-omythe was in the habit of keeping a large sum in bank note 1 ? in an escritoire in the library of her house at Richmond, the window ot which opened out on to the lawn. In summor this window was seldom shut, and — as Mr S.-S. constantly pointed out — nothing would be easier for any robber or vagrant who learnt of the whereabouts of the treasure than to walk in and help himself. Mrs S.-S. would reply that as a matter of fact no one did know of the money save themselves and her old servants, who had been aware of her habit for ten years without being tempted to rob her. Nevertheless, one summer afternoon, when Mr and Mrs Smith-Smythe both happoncd to be out, and the servants were at tea, the escritoire was broken open and the notes and gold stolen. The discovery was made by husband and wife simultaneously. They had, in tact, driven home together, Mrs Smythe picking up her husband on his way from the district railway station. Mrs Smythe fainted with the shock, but her husband, keeping his head, telegraphed at once to (Scotland Yard, and within an hour detectives were on the spot. After a lengthy investigation the suspicions of the police pointed in the direction of a young carpenter who was "keeping company " with a housemaid that cleaned and dusted the library, and who, it was shown, had been seen hanging about the house on the afternoon of the robbery. Ap, however, neither note nor coin could be traced to him, matters came to a standstill. An old soldier friend of Mrs Smythes, calling at Richmond one afternoon and hearing how things stood, recommended her to engage Sergeant M., the well-known private detective (who left the force under sensational circumstances several years back), to ferret out the affair. She did so, and very soon learnt some startling facts. The thief — Seigeant M. declaimed -V' as her own husband, Mr Smith-Smythe ; at least, he had been seen to enter and leave the house clandestinely on the afternoon of the robbery. A ten-pound note, undoubtedly paid by her bank to Mrs Smith-Smythe. had been traced to him, and within three days of the affair he had somehow settled a lnrge and pressing debt of honour. The husband declares that when his wife charged him with the crime and ordered him to leave her house on pain of exposure, he was so stunned and confounded as only to be able to mutter that if she could believe him capable of such baseness he certainly must and would at once leave her house. There was nothing else for it. He declares, however, the detective has mixed up the afternoon of the burglary with the previous afternoon when he certainly did slip into the house *o get a letter he wanted to show to a man at his club. Furthermore he nays his wife {/aye, him the ten-pound traced to him, and that the debt of honour he discharged was paid with winnings made at Sandown. Nevertheless, it is noticed he has not as yot taken any very active steps to vindicate his honour. Mrs Smytho l-elated the story to her soldier friend only, but it has got about in vague and gambled form*. In all probability the whole affair will become public property before long, as Mr Smith-Smythe must either clear himself conclusively or else resign membership at the Travellers, the Marlborough and the Tnrt Clubs. If he doesn't move soon the Committees of these exclusive coteries will.

The Now Journalism. Mr Lawson, of the " Telegraph," is no fool. He sees how time 6 ! are going 1 and does nob intend to be left behind. The "Star" introduced the smart "society" paragraph into »London daily journalism, and very soon all the other evening papers (oven the "Globe") followed suit. The early editions of the evening papers are now on sale before noon, and Mr Lawson sees that unless the morning papers keep well abreast of their contemporaries, they will soon become superfluous luxuries. Hence the introduction of the smart column of " pars " headed " London from Day to Day," in the " Telegraph." I am curious now to see what the "Standard" and " Morning Post" will do. The London " New York Herald " can't last, it's far too American in tone for English readers. Fancy devoting ten columns of one issue to the American baseballers.

Dramatic Notes. Mr Richard Mansfield's ambitious attompfc to play " Richard 111. " has proved, as many feared it would, a failure. There's nothing much to be paid about it, except that it's a thin, backboneless sort of performance. The favourable verdict passed on Mr Pinero's " Woaker Rox " in the provinces wan confirmed by a large and brilliant audience at the Court Theatre last Saturday evening. Mrs Kendal's Lady Vivash is worthy of her best days, and will certainly please American and colonial audiences. The great scene of the play takes place at an evening party given in honour of the engagement of Lady Vivash'a young daughter to an artist, a certain Philip Lee, whom she met in Italy and whom her mother has not yet seen. Lndy Vivash is waiting in the drawing-room to make this gentleman's acquaintance, when she is startled out of the convenances and all perenity by the advent of her old lover, Philip Lister, with whom she quarrelled, before she married Lord Vivash, in a huff, and for whom she has been waiting and longing ever since she became a widow. Her ladyship's ardent welcome and evidently undimiuished love terribly discom-

pose Philip, who, however, after a tnosb painful scone, manages to make her under-, stand bhafc he has placed his affections elsewhere. In a frenzy of jealousy Lady Vivash is demanding the name of her rival, when her daughter (who haa, by a clever device, been kept away up to now) enters, and by the warmth ot her greeting shows that Philip Lee and Philip Lister are one. Lady Vivash thereupon sinks fainting to the ground.

Literary Notes?. The title of Zola's new masterpiece will be " L' Hom me Quo Tue" or something similar. It deals mainly with the intricacies of tho French law, police system, and prison life. I reid a portion of tho concluding chapters, the scene of which is laid at Houcn assizes. They are intensely dramatic — in fact, Zola at his best. I have been reading the new edition of^ Barry O'Meara's "Napoleon at St. Helena," just issued by Benlle>. The voluminous, footnotes and extracts from other contemporary works on the same subject, now added to this remarkablo and world-famous book make it almost a classic. Yet how many of the present generation, I wonder, even know of it, or are aware that on the day of its publication a large crowd assembled outside Simpkin Marshall's and absolutely fought for early copies. The book ran into five editions before Sir Hudson Lowe (tho Governor of St Helena) could get Homo to answer O'Meara's attacks upon him in it, and by that time he was a ruined man. There is now, I gather from the introduction to this ediiion, no doubt that Dr. O'Meara's narrative was perfectly veracious and accurate, and that Sir Hudson Lowe shamefully abused his position with legard to Napoleon. To colonists who, like myself, have stopped at Sfc. Helena cv route to Australia, and visited the dreary strangling shanty called Longwood, Dr. O'Meara's pages will teem with interest. One can picture every detail so clearly and sympathise so heartily with the impetuous Irish surgeon's indignation with the Governor and passionate admiration for the captive Emperor. Even Carlyle confessed himself moved, and owned that his respect for Napoleon had been increased by 0 Meara's work. " Since the days of Prometheus Vinctus, ' he wrote, " I recollect no spectacle more moving than that of this great man in his prison-house, captive, sick, despised, forsaken, yet arising I above it all by sheer force of his own unI conquerable spirit." This edition of J "Mapoleon at St. Helena" is one of those j standard works everyone should try and find time for reading. " Under fcho Wing of Azrael" is <.he title which the authoress of "Is M'irriago a Failure ?"' has selected for her novel now on the point of publication. The purpose of this fiction is on dtt to show that loveless marriage is merely a form of monogamous prostitution. In his shilling shocker, " A Fatal Affinity," Mr Stuart Cumberland practically oflers a solution of the Whitechapel murders. Dabblers in theosophy will not need telling that there are in the East two brotherhoods of black and white magic. The black brotherhood or children of darkness are evil-doers of the vilest sort, who prostitute their magic powers for Satanic purposes, but they are notsopotentialeitherterrestriallyor astrally as the Good Fairies, I beg pardon, the White Brethren, or Children of Light. Before a black brother can become an adept (or high priest), it is essential that he should slay thirteen persons of a similar affinity within a year. Usually they are women, and about tho same age. In India the murder or disappearance of an occasional native erirl excites little remark, but sometimes the murderer cannot hnd his affinities in the East, and has to come West for them. He is never discoveied, for the simple reason that the crimes are committed by his shade, or astral form, the murderer's knife only being visible to the naked eye. In Mr Cumberland's story, the would-be adept of black magic is baulked of his ninth victim by a powerful white brother, who presents the young lady threatened with a charm (a golden coin) which bhe is instructed to wear over her heart night and day, and against which, eventually, the assassin's, dagger proves impotent. The Master of Darkness (Satan's vice-regent on earth) is so annoyed afc the would-be adept's failure that he consigns tho young man's body to inconceivable torments and commands his soul to inhabit the carcase of a jackal for ever aud over. Mr Cumberland promises shortly a more serious work on thcosophy to which he has apparently become a convert. "The Secret of the Lamas; A Tale oi Thibet " is the title of a new work of adventure to be issued at once by Cassells ; and Chatto and Windus announce a similar romance entitled "Mr Stranger's Sealed Packet" by Hugh McCall. Blackio's cyclopaedia, the first; volume . of which has just been issued, will, if carried out and completed as it has been begun, be the cheapest, handiest, and most exhaustive work of tho kind ever published. I have tested the first volume (A to Bla) in every way three fairly smart persons' ingenuity could suggest, and never found itwanting. Facts anent New Zealand are extraordinarily accurate, considering how incorrect cyclol pcedias, etc., usually arc. A capital map is attached to "Auckland." Blackie's cyclopaxlia will be published in seven quarterly volumes at 63 each.