Much Ado About Nothing.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 272, 13 June 1888, Page 4

Much Ado About Nothing.

'■Siph no more, ladies. sIrU no more. Men were deceivers ever — One loot on sen nnd ono on shore. To one thing constant never." These lines are familar to all, but apparently it is now time fchat the matter should be reversed, an to read " Sigh no more, gentlemen." The reason for the change is that the good deacons of one rt the dissenting churches have objected to a couple of gentlemen in the choir on account of their sighing dining the service. Without admitting 1 that the possible cause of the sighing- was that the offenders were tivo sini<ei> "who were much affected by the sermon, the good deacons, evidently lemembering the time when they also were unregenerate members of a choir, came to the conclusion fchat the men sighed in order to attract the attention of the ladies Imbued with this idea, they re quested the organist to communicate with the offenders, which be did privately. In doing bo, however, the impression was unfortunately conveyed that some of the married ladies in the choir had objected to being sighed at. In addition to that the word "ringleader" was applied to one of the twain. This gentleman being naturally a man ot peace and somewhat of a favourite with the' ladies, inquired whom he had offended that lie might offer an apology. All his inquiries, however, failed to find one fair one who had complained, and the result was that the two marked ones called a meeting of the choir to go into the whole matter. This meeting took place last Friday, when it is stated that the discussion waxed hot. The organist declined to discuss the question, merely stating that he had acted under instructions received from the deacons. The peaceful man objected to the matter being burked in this style, and at length the organist made the remark that he had been informed that the elderly married ladies in the choir objected to the sighing. This was even more terrible than the other errorabout the ringleader, because all the married ladies in the choir naturally refused to admit the insinuation that they were elderly, and as a consequence the complaining one could not now bofoundeven had nhe ever existed. Discussion of the question only rendered matters worse until at length fabrication of the whole affair was imputed to the organist, who as the paid servant of the deacons had simply done his duty. Then matters became sultry, and a peculiar meaning was given to tho words " See how these Christians love each other. " Apologies were demanded and refused, and the meeking closed, but not before a vote of tho choir had exonerated the two accused from the imputation that they had sighed in order to attract the attention of the ladies. The following Sunday these godly deacons sat in solemn conclave to discuw*

this awful question, This timo the organist — who appears to have been between two fires—defended the choir, and there the matter losted. It i8 generally thought that someone ha* blundered, and that the deacons have been making a mountain out of a mole • hill. Whether the mountain was of an evangelical nature deponent sayeth not. This is not. the first occasion that these " unco g-uid " men have pecked at the choir on what appoar to be frivolous matters. Sometime ago it will bo remembered that trouble occurred in a church because a lady in the congregation objected to being looked at by the choir. Well, it appears that this is the same church. The only remedy for the trouble would be for the choir to vacate their seats, for a few Sundays, and let tho deacons with thoir wives and families* occupy the dniw so as to set an example of decorous conduct. — " Zamiel," in Auckland Star.