HUMOROUS.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, Issue 243, 25 February 1888, Page 5

HUMOROUS.

Man : " You" pave a tramp- something fco eat yesterday, didn't you ?" Young- Wife : •'''•Yesirpoor^fellow."' ."rGavei him some of your sponge cakes, didn'bjyou ?" "Why, yes, so I", did. Why?". "Nothing. The paper says that the body of ,a man who had evidently died in great agony \vas found in s the willo.ws this morning." ' ' Hia'd a 1 witty repartee <l'd waited \biik to say ;' ' ' ■ Chances I|d hadi .butt »f>t enough s Wero 'round to jaiakcut pay. " , ' ' At last the centra of. a grou£, ■«.}'•. A'sji'i'n timing Udfi^' '" ' - } " i i i'-'jyietiniehaicoiiiofor.'inyi'ehiark, yi, , , wfrAAO.tUcijfQUowßuid.Ui ..-»„• :,,

Mow to Become a Ventriloquist. " What J tell you how I became a ventriloquist, and how anybody else may enter the lists '( I don't mind the iirtst part of the programme, that's easy enough, but, as to I the other — well, sit down, and perhaps before you go I may bo, able to give you a few hints, and possibly a lesson into the bargain." Lieutenant Colo had never been "interviewed" before, and us we both settled down into our reflective easy chairs, I was expecting something interesting from one who has pitched his tent hero, there and everywhere, nnd thrown bis voice into every I conceivable place between a palace and a I coal c il\n\\ "Well," he said, "the ventriloquist is like the poet, born, and not manutauturcd. \Vith practice it is a comparatively easy task to take a couple of wooden dolls on your kn ao and teach them to talk, but, to throw your voice into the baok-gaiden, on to the roof, and down the chimney-pots is a \ery difl'ol on t thing. I will bhow you what I mean. Now listen." The next moment a flock of sheep was passing outside, tho dog was baikintr, the driver shouting. A gentleman was crying out "fine iTarmo 1 bloateis," whilst a lady witli a very shrill voice was keeping up a lively duet with the purveyor of that marine dclicucy by hinging " water-creeses." "All light— keep your seat. It was all done inbide hcic," tapping his chc-t. " What Ventriloquism really Consists of i« a peculiar fotmation of the muscles of lljo tin oat. It is a gift. It a man is not born a ventriloquist ho will never become one. I really speak down in my stomach. This closes the muscles and s-o they arc compressed tighter, and the eflect is to produce a ' far away ' voice. The lower my voice descends, the greater is the pressuio against the muscles, iiud tho sound becomes more distant still. Being in possession of this gift, the art then lrf Lo learn how to acquire the habit of producing the difieient voices you wish to obtain, and above all to know ivhere your voice is going to pitch. It would never do to find it up the chimney when you wanted it in the passage. .Ju at give me your hand and I will speak as I do when performing." I placed my hand somewhere about the third button of the ventriloquist's uaUtcoat, and whilht he was speaking a mpid movement was felt. "Is it a dangerous practice'/" I asked, "or injuiious to health.'" "Oh ! bless you, no. I have made my living by it for over aquaiter of a century. Alter twenty years' experience oi it, i had a severe illness, and was examined by a specialist. His opinion was that it did not not touch the lungs at all, which so many people seem to think. He said, just what I told you, that it was a peculiar lormatiou of the muscles of the throat. Now, look well at my face and tell me if you notice anything additional to what most folk have. No ? Look again in tho vicinity ot my mouth." Yes, there were two extra muscles distinctly visible at each corner of the mouth. They had become gradually formed simply through keeping the lips closed whilst speaking. "Now I am coming to something interesting. Just try and say the letteis '111/ ' p,' and l b,' without moving the lips." In vuin I tried, but could not succeed. "Ah! there's the rub. Words with those letters in them are the most difficult to pronounce, bub by incessant practice I have found out a means of getting them quite naturally, and they aie pioduced With the Tiptofthz Toiujurand the Teeth." "Some ventriloquists substitute 'slur' words in ditlicult sentences. ' I wish mama was heie,' would sound ' I wish ikum was here,' '' and he illustrated his words as he spoke. " The ventriloquists of bygone days all wore big moustachios.' 1 "In order to hide the movement of the lips, eh ?" " Well, yep, I should say so. And I don't mind admitting that the first time I opened in the business I was somewhat \ nervous and wore a false moustache myself 1 But when I came to London I was clean shaven, which puzzled the good folk, tor I was the first ventriloquist who had appeared with a clean face — clean shaven, of course, I mean. Although I found one — Mr E. D. Davis— who was working a couple of figures on his knees, still I am responsible for the introduction of a • family group." " I Commenced Operations at School. " Here I would get ray school - fellows around me and give them a lit tie gratuitous entertainment in the way of imitating *ho sounds of various birds, horses, pigs, sheep, dogs, cats and so on, uithmy mouth. With perseverance anybody may acquire the knack of doing this. Then 1 went to sea, and there I would amueo myself and those onboard by reproducing the 'running of 'the gear,' ifche. creaking of tho blocks, and ajU that sort of thing, but how I really first became convinced that I was a ventriloquist was brought about in a very amusing way. "At that time I was in the provinces with a conjuring entertainment, with one or two feats of ventriloquism introduced by way of variety. I was on my way from Hull to Manchester, nnd riding in the same compartment wad a brother professional bound for Halifax. This gentleman would persist in asking at every station whether ho had to * change here for Halifax. 1 So at last, .to ease bis mind, "I Ttunw my Voloe Out of the Wtedow aa we neared the station, and he heard a porter shouting ' Change here for Halifax ! Change here for Halifax !' Away ho went, luggage with him, and after a long discussion with the perfectly innocent porter — who declared' he had not opened. his mouth — he brought the man to the carriage, door to us. .H.e then caught eight of youra truly. Curtain ! ••This decided me,' I travelled for twelve months in the provinces, storting at Manchester with a salary of £2 10s a week. In .1870 I came to London, and opened with the Great Hermann at the Egyptian liall. Since then I have been with ' my family ' in many pantomimes, including the Adelphi, Gaiety, the Princess's, and in the provinces. Royalty has not forgotten there are such human beings as ventriloquists. At Marlborough House I assisted at one of the young princesses' birthdays, and out of an audience of some Hundred and twenty, including the Princess of Wales, only two gentlemen were present. Paris, Berlin, I .Baden, Vienna — for my figures speak French' and German as well as " " Ah ! tell me something about them," I interrupted. "How aro the Figures Made?" . "Ii model tjhem my (self, and they arcmade of paper, and, >their -value— well, it is in/ipossible tpo, estimate it,,though, of course, n set of figures may be b.ought anywhere, bfetvyeen £3Q,.and £100.- They arc worked on fct^e marionette , principle, <by means Of springs connected, with my fjuger^. The slightest touch will * moye ' me, . and X cau j gain complete opntrol over eight at the sametime, and, one of the 1 eight — the old man — lias, „ten t . distinct, movements. When c|mtter.ing Vi to my;, family., I am quite, at home wibhih.em. ,Of course, all they say i3 t my own,,, though I have often, paid, a gViinea and moi;e,for a good joke." 1 . ,

" And do they cost much for clothing?" " Well, I allow my ' old man ' two suits a year— tailor made. Tho old lady is more extravagant in her drest?, she believes in the latest fashion, and has three new dt esses, whilst my 'little girl,' like most small people, gets untidy very boon, so s-he has a change every two months. "1 have had some very funny letters in reference to veiibriloquinl figures. Here is one from a gentleman At Birmingham, who says : ' Please send ir,e down a hemi-gruff voice for my old man !' Anothor writes : ' I have gob thefigures, but 1 want you to bend me something for them to cay.' Once when I was pei forming at Folkestone, a man applied at. the hall for free admission, and when told he could nob be passed in, said, ' An,' after showin' my lingers on tho beach, too, and telliti' all the pooplo as how your figgers wuh just as 1 good. Look at the udvertisument,!' He gained tho day." " Before I take my fh*t lesson, tell mo Id it at all a Strain to Gam the Various Voices?" " Yes, sometimes. I never appear in a hall without " tiyinjj' it. it I have a cold at all it becomes very dilficulj to make my little gill talk as nicely as 1 should wish. Yes, fainting is veiy trying. Do 1 practise at all ? Oh ! dear no, unless I am going to introduce anything new." "And now J. think 1 am jeady foi my Ih?j losFon. ' He looked giave, io.-c fioni his scab and pushed back t-'ie ea.vy chair ; vhen with a biiddon, cheery, " All right ! now loilow mt veiy cloaely," ho proceeded to gi/e mc a veiy himpie, yet thoroughly oifcebhe, sample ot \entiiloquihin, winch anyone can test lor themselves. "Kcmcmber," he said, "this* art Ls a natuial gift, there is not tho slightest trickery about it. We will suppose you are nobnatutaily a vcnttiloquist, Very well, then. Here is a capital little method whereby a veiy good cfltcb can be produced. Aie you leady ?" He then cook from the table an ordinary tumbler, saying " Sco Thcro is no Deccutioa," and placed it on the cloth again. Standing about a couple of feet from the table, he commenced : — " Halloa ! how aie you getting on down there? Eh! what say? Can't you hear me -—speak a little louder?" and coming nearer and near to the tumbler he continued speaking until his mouth was close to the edge of die glass, when somebody teemed to answer down in the cellar and in quite a diflcient tone of voice : "Oh ! J'm pretty well — how are you ?" 1 tested the simple p!an and found it reznarkably easy to accomplish. The whole eltect i.s produced by .speaking into the glass, the voice in compiesced into a small f-paee, and ib is perhaps the most practical illustration ot what ventriloquism leally is. This idea can be easily developed by the making ot a small table — such as conjuror u^c — with a hole in the centre to receive the glass, a secret sliding-lid to hide the opening, and, with a fiin^e of cloth to prevent the tumbler being seen, the apparatus is complete.