Quiet Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, 3 December 1887, Page 7

Quiet Humour.

An old gentleman being asked after his health, ieplied: { I am. getting quite feeble, and exercise of any kind is almost too much for me. Last year I could walk all round the square, but now I can only walk half way round. 7 'Do you walk back again ?' he was asked. < V^es, certainly,' he replied. 'Pray explain the diffeience/ was his friend's request. A greenhorn at a menagerie was, displaying great interest in a baboon when a bystander observed that it belonged to a lower order of the human species. ( Pooh ! pooh !' replied the countryman, somewhat nettled, 'he's no moie human species than we be ;' a reply which recalls the observation of the gentleman who, after admiring a donkey's skeleton, exclaimed, c Oh, we are feaifully and wonderfully made 1 ; That was a charming bull which the liish sergeant was guilty of once when about to call the roll. ' Attention, company!' he exclaimed, > in a loud voice, 'and answer to youi j names. All of ye that are prisint, say j " Here ;" and all of ye that are not prisint, say " Absint." ' We are reminded by this of the adjutant (Irish, of course), who, in doubt, as to whether he had distributed arms to all the members of his company, called out, ' A'l you that are without arms hold up your hands.' It is questionable whether the distinguished scientific agriculturist ,who received the following felt much complimented, although he knew the lettei \\ as written by an illiterate farmer; ' Respected sir,' it said, ' I went yesterday to the fair at A . I found several pigs of your species. There was a great variety of beasts., and I was greatly astonished at not seeing you there.' And the individual who, wishing to enter some animals at an Agricultural Exhibition, reflected rather severely on himself when he wrote to the secietary; 'Enter me for a jackass ; I have no doubt what ever of gaining a prize.'