He Laughs Best Who Laughs Last.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, Issue 222, 1 October 1887, Page 2

He Laughs Best Who Laughs Last.

" You'vk got some nice wood over there in your yard," said a seedy-looking tiamp to an Austin Avenue lady. " Yes," said the lady of the house. " 1 would like to carry it in to you,*' said he. '•My husband intends to carry it in,'" said she. '• Well," said the tramp, " I will carry it in and pile it up nice if you will give me my breakfast." At this offer the lady consented, and the tramp went to work. After he had carried in a couple of armfuls, the lady stepped to the door and found him sitting on the pile with his claws on his knees and his face buried in his hands. " What is the matter?" said she. " Oh, lady,"sajd he looking up, "I am so weak, for I have had nofching to eat since day before yesterday," and he again covered his face with his hands. This seemed to rouse the lady's sympathy, and she went in and soon returned with an excellent breakfast. After he had swept everything from the board, ho arose, and said — " Thanks, my good lady, for the sumptuous repast. Now, let mo give you this advice —Never again let your sympathy get away with your discretion. I'iij off. Ta, ta !" and lie walked majestically to the front gate. The tramp had gone but a short distance when he becammseadly side. He seated hiaelf on a curbstone, and ac few moments ltor, having two or jj three spasmodic contractions of the stomach, he lost his ill-gotten breakfast. Indeed, his stomach would have followed suit had it not been thoroughly dovetailed to his diaphragm. He believed that he was poisoned, and became very much alarmed. As soon as he regained strength enough to get his feet, he slowly retraced his step, and found the lady standing at the front door. il Madam," he said in piteous tones, " my breakfast did not stay on my stomach. I believe I am poisoned." "That is not to be wondered at," said she. " I suspected your little game, having been caught once before in the same way, so I pi-epared myself for it by dosing your coffee with tartar emetic. Now let me give you a little advice : Never again let your rascality got away with your breakfast. To beat a dead beat beats everything. Ta, ta !" and she shut the door in his face. The tramp started sorrowfully down the street, wondering, no doubt, where he could get a breakfast that would stay with him.