Told in His Own Way.
A coloured man named Bob Tompkins was on trial before an Austin justice for assault. Old Uncle Moee was one of the leading witnesses for the State. The main point was, whether or not Tompkins had given any provocation to bring on the row. " Now, tell this jury all you know about the affair," said the justice. 11 Kin I tell the jury all I know, in my own way ?" asked Old Mose. " Yes, tell the story what you know in your own way." Old Mose turned solemnly to the expectant jurymen :—: — "Gem'mens ob de jury, yon air the meanest looking crowd eber I 6eed " "Stop!" bawled the attorney for the State. " Your honour will incarcerate the witness for contempt of Court !" howled ttorney for the prisoner. The foreman of the jury got up and asked the Court to protect the jury from insult. " Witness, if you insult the jury again, I shall certainly resort toextrememeasures." " I'm not going to consult nobody ef you don't interfere wid me," said Old Mose, sullenly. "Proceed." " Gem'mens ob de jury, you am de meanest looking crowd eber I seed outside ob a jail " The prosecuting attorney jumped up and down. The foreman of the jury once more j howled — | ! " Your honour !'' The constable laid his heavy hand on the collar of Old Mose, when the latter calmly repeated to the jury — " You am de meanest looking crowd eber 1 seed outside ob a jail. Dem was de bery words de prisoner dar used when he fust come inter de bar-room, an' which led to derow." The foreman sat down quick. The attorneys doubled up like jack-knives with suppressed laughter. His honour smiled, the spectators roared ; while Mose, Avith a surprised look of childish innocence, once more said emphatically to the cowed jurymen — " You am do meanest-looking crowd eber I seed outside ob de jail."
A pitman from Fifeshire entered an hotel in Dundee, where an old man was seated, and accosted him with the customary salutation — " Guid mornin'." The old man raised his head up, and taking from his pocket a trumpet of peculiar construction put it to his ear. The honest pitman stood a few minutes, and then exclaimed, with a disappointed air — "Na, it winna dae. Yecannaplay wi'yerlug."
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Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 205, 28 May 1887, Page 4 (Supplement)
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382Told in His Own Way. Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 205, 28 May 1887, Page 4 (Supplement)
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