ODDS AND ENDS.

Te Aroha News, Volume III, Issue 118, 5 September 1885, Page 7

ODDS AND ENDS.

A matter of taste — Btrong butter. An Irish lover remarked : " It's a very great pleasure to be alone, especially when your sWeatheart is wid you." Hens may be a little backward on eggs, but they never fail to come to the scratch where flower-beds are concerned. "What is the feminine of friar ?" asked a school teacher. First boy — " Hasn't any." "Noxt," Second boy —•'Nun. 1 ' "That's right." First boy, indignantly— "That'a just what I said 1" An old woman who had received a cheque went with great glee to the bank to draw the money. "This cheque is crossed ; we can't pay it over the counter, my good woman." ''All right, sir ; I'll come roucd, then 1" was the immediate reply. A lady whose family were very much in the habit of making conundrums, was one evening asked by her husband, in an excited tone, " Why aie all these doors left open ?" " I give it up 1" instantly replied the lady.

BECAUSE). ojome drink to make ihem wide awnke, And some to make them sleep ; Some drink because they merry are, And some becauso thoy wet* p. Some drinfc because they're very hot, Anu dome because they're coM ; Soino drink to cheer them when they're young. And some becdusc they're old. Some drink to give til' m appetite, Aud some to aid di ;e*ti'»n : Some for "doctors say it's right," And some without a question. Some drink when they a baigain make, And some because 01 loss ; Some drink when thry their pleanircs take, And others when they're cross. Some drink fof sake of company, While some drink on the sly ; And many drink, but never think About the reason why.