PUT TO THE TEST.

Te Aroha News, Volume III, Issue 118, 5 September 1885, Page 7

PUT TO THE TEST.

A good story has been told of a lisping officer being victimised by a brother officer — who was noted for his cool deliberation and strong nerves. The cool joker — Captain Blakeney — was ulways quizzing the lisping one — a lieutenant — for his nervousness, and said one day at mess, " Why, nervousness is all nonsense ; I tell you no brave man is ever nervous." " Well enquired his lisping friend, " How would you act thpothing a thell with an inth futheo thould drop itthelf in a walled angle, in which you had taken shelter from a company of tharpthootherith, and where it J wath thertain if ou would put out your i nothe you'd get peppered V " How ?" said the Captain, with a look at his brother officers, " why, take it cooly, and spit on the fusee." I?ne party b<oke up. Next morning a number of soldiers were assembled on parade, when along came the lisping lieutenant lazily opening hie eyes* He remarked to a cluster of officers. " I want to try an ekthpeu-* ment tltith morning, and theo how ektheedingly cool Tom Blakeney can be. w Raying tills he walked deliberately into the Captain's quarters, where a fire" was burning on the hearth and placed ift its hottest part a powder canister, and instantl) retreated. There was t>ut one door of egress from the quartets, and that opened upon the parade-ground f (he ovtiu^aui gttvtf urns look ai tUe «aw-

istor, comprehended the situation, and in a moment mule Tor tlio door, but it vis fusU'iu"! on the ontfti |i», » C arley lot me out, if you love me 1" snouted the Captain. u Tl.pit on tin? oanitluuT' shouto Ihe in return. Not a moment was to be lost ; t.ie (Japta n had t.t lirst snatuhed up a blanket to cuver hiuiaelf with, but, soon dropping it, he raised the window and out he bounded, sans everything but 1 a short undergarment, and thus, with hair almost on end, he dashed on to a full parade-ground. The shouts which hailed him brought out the whole of the occupants of the barracks to see what was the matter, and the dignified Captain pulled a sergeant in front of him to hide himself. " Why did'nt you thpit on it V inquired the lieutenant. " Because there were no sharpshooters in front to stop retreat," answered the Captain. " All I've got to they, then, ith," said the lieutenant, " that you might thafely have done it ; for I'll thware there wathn't a thingle grain of powder in it.*'