ODDS AND ENDS

Te Aroha News, Volume I, Issue 36, 9 February 1884, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS

Can a new watch with a second-hand be called a second-hand watch ? The man who minds his own business was in the city on Saturday, but left immediately, he felt so lonesome. There are 038 clergymen in New Zealand. Thames is to have a leather and boot factory. Baron Maclay will not revisit New Guinea till the end of 1885. Sou tli Australian rainfall last year was the largest known for 30 years. If the doctor orders bark, has not the patient a right to growl ? With some folks, what you wear counts for more than what you are. Temporary insanity — Time " out of mind." On 20th June last there were 13,697 Polynesians in Queensland. A person who ought to "rule the roost — The cook. Deed of Trust — Lending a man half-a sovereign. Phenomenal sunsets at San Francisco have been accompanied by a beautiful and open winter. In Napier, a few days ago, a duck was seen to catch a sparrow and swallow it whole. Wellington people who visited the New Zealand Shipping Company Aorangi declare her the finest vessel that ever visiteH the port. Mr Henry George, author of " Progress and Poverty," purposes lecturing throughout Great Britain on land reform. It has been resolved to start a herd -book for dairy stock in New South Wales. There are 394 medical practitioners and 83 dentists registered in New Zealand. In 1882, 400,000 tons of beetroot sugar were impoi'ted into Great Britain. Canada has the largest national debt of any country in proportion to its people. A birth takes place on an average every three minutes in London, and a death takes place every five minutes. The bank returns of New Zealand for last quarter show assets to be £18,008,348, and liabilities £8,684,819. The land of New Zealand is 66,750,000 acres, of which 51,000,000 are fit for occupation. 1(3,730,000 acres have been sold or granted, leaving 34,250,000 acres for future purposes. Four fallow deer— one buck and three fawns — bred by Messrs Reid on Motutapu, have been presented to Tauranga Acclimatisation Society, and are to be liberated in Tauranga district. Any young man is made better by a sister's love. It is not necessary to be his own sister. Last year the gold entered for export from New Zealand amounted to £40,457,495. One-eighth of this was from Auckland. What next ? Criminals are whining because the beef and mutton supplied to them in prison is not of first-class quality. An old lady in Holland scrubbed her sitting-room floor until she fell through it into the cellar. Excess in all things is wrong. The meanest man on record sent through a post-office, presided over by a woman, a post card on which was written — "Dear Jack, here's the details of that precious scandal." And then the rest was in Greek. Maud — "What very large teeth Scotchmen have, mamma ; haven't they ?" Mamma — "Not any larger than we English people have, Maudie." Maud— "Oh, yes, they have ; for, when papa asked the new Scotch gardener to-day if he would take any whisky, he replied that he would take just a toothful ; and I'm sure papa made the butler give him more than half a tumblerful ; and his tooth held it all, for he didn't spill a drop !" A short time ago a man became so completely "wrapt in thought" that he "was tied up, labelled, and 9ent off to the first "train of ideas." "Pay me that six-and-eightpence you owe me, Mr Mulrooney," said a village attorney. ' ' For what ?" " For the opinion you had of me." " Faith, I never had any opinion of you in my life." When a friend asked a reformed inebriate the cause of his reformation he said, "As you are married, you will quite understand it when I say getting tipsy made me see my mother-in-law double." The late Thomas Hood, driving into the country one day, observed a notice beside' a fence,' "Beware of the dog:" There n6t being any signs of a dog, Hood wrote" 'on the board; 1 u Ware be the dog ?" '" * "When I grow Up I'll be a man,"vjfon't I?" asked a little bey of his mother. " Yes, my son ; but if you wantto be a man you must be industrious at school, and learn how to behave yourself." " Why, mamma, do the lazy 'boys turn* out to b<3 women when they grow up J"