Highly Strung

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 898, 15 February 1930, Page 18

Highly Strung

Problem of Nervous Children Discussed MUCH CAN BE DONE When one is accustomed to discuss the physical and mental condition of children with their parents one soon that the application to a child of the term “highly strung” is as a rule received with some pride tsays a paper contributed by the Department. of Health). This may be because, it calls up a mental picture of sensitiveness combined with intelligence, which may or may not be children who are quick, eager and interested in the experience of their own small world are often by their very readiness to receive an impression and follow it by action a cause of anxious thought to their parents Our mental powers and characteristics, as our bodily, are largely determined by heredity—what possibilities we possess at birth must be of tremendous importance, but wholesome nurture alone can make us attain to our best powers. We all know nowadays how much careful upbringing can do for a child’s body. A regular daily programme providing appropriate food at regular intervals, fresh am and sunlight, play and exercise and abundant sound sleep may with, patience convert a weakly child into a healthy happy one. But we should realise that environment is just as powerful in influencing his mind, so that according as he is dealt with in infancy and childhood, he is in manhood nervously and emotionally unstable or a happy, well-balanced individual. It was. I think. R. L Stevenson who asked for the boon of courage, gaiety and a quiet mind.” Confidence, joy and serenity come most readily to those who have grown jyi a home where they were found. Children react powerfully to atmosphere; their best lessons are unconscious ones. They are highly imitative and open to suggestion. They love being an object of interest and the centre of the picture. They respond readily to the moods of those about them. People who are credited with having “a way with children” are as a rule those who create an atmosphere of cheerful confidence and kindliness. PARENTS’ MISTAKES nervous child has a poor chance °f gaining self-control in a home where there is continual argument and worry especially if. as with an only child, he realises he is himself the main object of concern. The mistake of many otherwise intelligent mothers is that they tend too much to try to act as petty providence. Wishing earnestly as they do that their children should be strong and fine they watch over them ceaselessly and by their own anxiety create that atmosphere of worry and strain which is disastrous to happy and unconscious growth and development. One of tile most satisfying observations is to see the delicate nervous only child of anxious parents react to a good school environment and become transformed into a cheerful casual youngster happily absorbed in concerns not immediately related to himself. For many of these “highly strung” children school is literally a salvation. It is a great mistake to discuss a child’s abilities and shortcomings In his hearing. It is also very bad manners from the child’s point of view. To discuss his faults frequently is to perpetuate them as he begins to regard them as inevitable. Little children readily accept the verdict of their elders with regard to their powers, and for a child to kmV that he is considered stupid or naughty results in his playing his part accordingly. Many adults suffer from a miserable sense of their own inadequacy simply because as children they were labelled as “not at all clever” and have never been able to gain the self-confidence then lost. Children learn by imitating and by doing—they attempt to follow what is said and done around them. The extraordinary activity of the two and three years old child who is enjoying his daily improving powers of movement—of touching and handling—often requires direction into safe channels. If perpetually checked and thwarted he becomes irritable and destructive. He is best placed in safe surroundings and his energies directed into harmless channels, e.g., exploring the possibilities of a box of wooden blocks or of clothes pegs. As he gets older he should be encouraged to perform acts with a purpose—get his own shoes or hat and dress himself. “Help mother” when possible. A child loves the sense of achievement and every mother who does for him what he can, with trying, do for himself, robs him of valuable education. DIFFICULTY CREATED The child mind is very open to suggestion. Hence a sure way to create difficulty is to express anxiety m his presence, that he will not eat his dinner, that he will not want to go to bed, that he may be sickening for illness, etc. A few children have a genuine intolerance for certain °* diet; but most expressed dislikes are copied from opinions overheard. When whims cease to evoke interest they are, as a rule, soon discarded. Most children, for instance, who go to a health camp declaring themselves unable to eat porridge or milk puddings or butter, consume that article of diet with their fellows in cheerful unconcern before a week is out. Thi ? love of being in the centre of may be responsible for a child s habitually saying or doing some thing to shock his elders. He will startle them by the use of an oath often repeated ostentatiously if they ignore him. The surest way to end this difficulty is to be apparently unconcerned, and the young actor, having failed in his effect, passes on to fresh interests. It is necessary to be consistent with children and to treat them as rational beings. Some parents, in a moment of irritation, punish severely for behaviour which they have tolerated or laughed at previously. Children expect reason, and if not treated as reasonable beings, become themselves passionate and unmanageable. Threats of punishment should not be lightly made; but when the occasion has justified them they should be fulfilled. The demands made upon children must be fair, but they must learn to obey. Secure a child's co-operation whenever possible. Frequent expostulations and reproof often result not in obedience, but nervous irritation and habitual opposition—the condition known to psychologists as “negativism.” Perpetual entertainment, especially by adults, makes a child dependent on outside sources for bis happiness. I

Let his toys and his games be simple, and such as will stimulate his own invention. Remember that as a man his happiness will depend largely on his own capacity for self-reliance in work and in play, and also on his ability to achieve that harmonious relationship with his fellows which comes from a sympathetic realisation of their viewpoint.

For the numerous ailments from which nervous children suffer, it is well to ascertain at the outset from your doctor whether there is a physical defect "which excites nervous irritation. Treatment for worms may be indicated, or adenoids require removal. These and other possibilities excluded, however, there remain many manifestations which may have their origin in nervous instability. To enumerate some of the more common signs of nervousness which may be. obvious or discovered only by inquiry: In the very young child we may see general instability, fear, especially of anything strange, passion, restlessness, sleeplessness, defective digestion, and possibly some odd habit as thumb-sucking, headrolling, etc.

In the older child these characteristics are often more obvious, and we find self-consciousness and timidity, liability to fatigue, sleeplessness, irritability, restlessness and inability to concentrate, and at times stammering, accompanied sometimes by evidence of nervous fatigue, such as spasmodic twitching of groups of muscles, or blinking of the eyes, or perhaps some curious habit such as biting the lips or finger nails, rocking the head to and fro and pulling at the fingers. The general treatment must be along the lines indicated above. Anxious parents may seek consolation in the knowledge that, with the extension of the child’s powers and interests as he gets older, his little nervous tricks tend to be forgotten. Bodily health must be secured by attention to the principles of good nurture. The unstable nervous system must be strengthened by a wise guidance which, without dominating the child, sustains and directs his own efforts toward self-reliance and control.