Crooks Prey on Kind-Hearted Clergy

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 867, 10 January 1930, Page 11

Crooks Prey on Kind-Hearted Clergy

PLAUSIBLE YARNS SPUN DESPICABLE THEFTS Every now and again one hears a complaint about an allegedly stonyhearted vicar, who has declined to re ward a harrowing tale of woe with a prompt gift of cash to the stranger who tells it: or about an interesting old church which is locked up for several hours a day, or for whole days together, writes “A Clerical Corresponent” in the “Star,” London. These stories get passed on by word of mouth until almost everyone in the land has heard some of them. But the general public has no idea of the extent to which the clergy ancl the churches are preyed upon by crooks of both sexes, who specialise in this most despicable of fields of petty crime. No place of worship in the land, from the humblest little old village church to Westminster Abbey itself. is safe from these parasites, who, with each false story, make it more difficult in future for the genuinely unfortunate person to be helped out. of a tight corner. In many cases the intelligence, persistence and discomfort involved would win the trickster a much better living if he or she took to honest work.

The fare home to somewhere or other, usually a good way off, is one of the favourite requests of the welldreSsed, who present a visiting card engraved with a fictitious name and address. One vicar of my acquaintance, who has had experience of several of these ladies and gentlemen, prudently asks them for the name of their next-door neighbour, and sends a reply-paid telegram inquiring if the applicant does live there. This has led to two or three indignant remonstrances and to other quiet omissions to return in a couple of hours; but the only genuine case eagerly supplied the information and congratulated the vicar on his common sense. Some vicars, like one in the South of London, compile a black list of parasites. “Mine,” said this gentleman not long ago, “contains details of some of the nation’s cleverest liars. I have about 25 on my list. Defrauding the London clergy is a regular industry, in which information about the circumstances and peculiarities of every clergyman is pooled. It is not only the old-fashioned vicar who turns out to be what the parasites call “the soft mark,” nearly all the businesslike, up-to-date clergymen of the younger generation have confessed to being taken in by these people. There are hundreds going about. One of the oldest stories is that of the sailor who has got to get back to Gravesend to catch his ship, and one of the newest the motorist whose car has broken down and who must send two long telegrams.” Collection Trick The vergers at Westminster Abbey are often approached after services by persons who say they have lost their purse; or contributed half a crown or ten shillings to . the collection, but now find they had come out with less money than they thought, and, in consequence, would like a little refund. The Abbey authorities have good grounds for believing that numbers of these cases are not genuine. Last winter a man and woman staged a dramatic collapse from hunger among a group of prosperous-looking visitors to the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior in the Abbey. A good deal of money was collected. Next day the performance was repeated. After the third time, however, the collapsers were requested to enact the pathetic scene elsewhere. All sorts of things, in addition to cash, are stolen from churches. The market for second-hand hymn books, stamped with the name of the parish and the words, “Not to b.e taken away,” is far from brisk or lucrative, one would imagine; yet they are stolen by the thousand. One church alone lost 83 in three years. Hassocks vanish into thin air, so even do chairs. Brass holders in which are slid the cards containing the pewholders’ names are carefully unscrewed and taken away. Elect light bulbs ar.e taken away. Wi parish notices are fastened to a b;:

covered board by four drawing p. two of the pins are often stolen. When a Lambeth vicar found thn a valuable pipe about 5 feet long bad been taken from the middle of his organ by some deft person with a knowledge of such instruments, perhaps collecting parts for a private organ of his own, other South London parishes held an investigation, and it was found that several churches had lost pipes from their organ! Westminster Roman Catholic Cathedral has been the scene of numerous thefts, but none quite so brazenly premeditated as those of an Italian in the famous Madeleine Church, in Paris, who used to fish for handbags from the seat of the pew behind their owners, by trailing a previously fastened fish-hook attached to the end of his rosary! Holy Rood Church, at Watford, displayed in the porch the following witty message, in illuminated script, to church crooks: “This church is open all day. Thieves are welcome, but they are requested not to enter except for purposes of prayer or conversion. They are informed that the alms-boxes are emptied every day, and so no useful purpose would be served by having them open. On the contrary, the locks would be spoilt and their tempers and ours ruffled.”