ONLY CHILD PROBLEM

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 805, 28 October 1929, Page 13

ONLY CHILD PROBLEM

HANDICAPPED IN LIFE PARENTS' RESPONSIBILITIES The problem ot the only child is a real and complex one. At first sight it appears reasonable to suppose that the only child would have every advantage in life. It has the undivided attention and love of its parents, a good education, and every benefit possible because it is an only child, writes a doctor in a London exchange. This is all that it could or should be. But in real life it rarely works out that way. The only child is often severely handicapped. He lacks selfconfidence, and rarely attains positions which should easily be his. His constant association with people older than himself makes its difficult for him to associate with children of his own age—a peculiarity of mind which is carried into older life and often prevents him making friends. He is left a lonely and solitary individual, tending to despondency and unhappiness. In childhood, toys, pets and books soon lose their charm for him. He gets bored with life at a very early age. Resentful of criticism, and with an exaggerated idea of his own importance as he gets older, his business or professional path is far from being strewn with roses.

The spoilt only child, as I have hinted, is more liable to nervous troubles of varying complexity, especially in later life. All this will be very distressing to parents with an only child, but I have put the worst first. It is not necessary for any of this to happen. The remedy is in the hands of the parents themselves. It is only the spoilt child who is liable to the tremendous happenings in life which I have set out. It is simply because the only child is more frequently spoilt than nor. that these things happen to him. If they do, it is entirely the fault of the parents and not the child. It has been said the child mind begins as an empty slate, and the marks made on It which persist through life are made by the influence of the parents. Their responsibility is great. The only child should he encouraged to play with other children at a very early age. 'By this means he will discover quite soon that he is not the only one in the world —a fact that will be much to his benefit. He should not be pampered and overwhelmed with too much love. On the other hand, he should be taught obedience and self-reliance. Only reecntlv I heard of a where the mother of a child of six boasted that he was never out of her sight, and that she devoted her life to him. This self-sacrifice —which sounds so well —is unnecessary and harmful for that child. Both mother and offspring are storing up potential trouble which will be evident, perhaps not at one -, but inevitably sooner or later. “Spare the rod and spoil the child'* is applicable in many more ways than a purely physical one. Its application should become a subject of study for parents of the solitary child.