“SHALL WE PARK AT THE ALTAR, OLD FRUIT ?"

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 545, 24 December 1928, Page 7

“SHALL WE PARK AT THE ALTAR, OLD FRUIT ?"

MODEL MODERN LOVE-LETTER An amusing paper entitled "Is the Law an Ass?” was read by Mr. E. A. Bell, of London, at the Law Society's conference at Eastbourne. Mr. BelJ said that during the last century, Chief Justice Best was called upon to consider the right of a lord of the manor of the foreshore to require proprietors of what were then novel objects—bathing machines—to pay manorial toll for the use of the foreshore. The Chief Justice gave the following as his reasons for • free bathing: “Free access to the sea is all important. Bathing promotes health. By bathing those who live near the sea are taught their first duty, namely to assist mariners in distress. Decency must, however, prevent all females from bathing except from a machine.” “Dear Old Fruit” Mr. Bell also referred to marriage settlements, which he said in these days were mere pamphlets. Betrothed beings courted by telephone and “mar-riage-settlemented” each other by letter. He gave an example of a super up-to-date marriage contract which read: “Dear old fruit,—Suppose we park ourselves at the altar together. You shall have the run of my rabbit warren and all its gadgets. You know that my jolly old life has had something done to it. 1 mean to say that when old Daddy Time throws a monkey wrench into my works some giddy insurance company will hand you a cool thousand and you can have my bank overdraft and everything what’s over. All the best.”