FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 196, 8 November 1927, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN

"TOBACCO BLIXDXESA" On the authority of a great optician, ■we have it that “tobacco blindness” is rarely found among women, because women who smoke do not indulge excessively in alcohol. Apparently they prefer cocktails. The same authority says the only way to stop a man from smoking is to tell him he is heading direct to the cemetery—where there is no smoking. Mark Twain was warned that he was doomed to leave the earth sooner than should be the case, if he persisted in his habit of leaving off smoking only to eat or sleep. But nothing would induce him to give ug his cigars, and he died of “smoker’s heart.” Mark, rebuked for smoking so much by an acquaintance whom he considered to be a hypocrite (and he regarded all hypocrites as damned), is reported to have glanced coldly at him and observed: “It is better to smoke here than to smoke hereafter.” THE LETTER Associated with the discovery of a man’s body at Kopaki was the finding of a letter (written on the margin of a School Journal) which referred to “a battle-scarred hero starving to death In the country he v,-a.s once so proud to fight for. . . . Three days without a bite ... a whole week on half a loaf and cold water,” and indicated that the writer was “another victim of the merciless action of the War Pensions Board.” At the inquest, the police sergeant said there was no “direct” evidence that the letter had been written by the deceased. “If so, the conclusion of the police was that the writer of the letter was of unsound mind.” Wonderful, the powers of deduction possessed by the police! An empty stomach should stimulate the mind, of course—especially the mind of a returned soldier, who ought to be Inured to starvation by his experiences both in the field and after his return to a grateful country. In any case, anyone who speaks the truth when the truth isn’t palatable Is mad —stark mad! That is the only excuse which our hypocrisy can seize upon to bluff our consciences with. WHIPPET RACING The idea of the A. and P. Association to introduce whippet-racing at the forthcoming show is a bright one —beating the Baildon-Mackenzie tinhare combination to the post. The whippet is about half the size of a greyhound, and over short distances he goes like a flash, giving his big brother points in speed. The A. and P. Association is backing the little fellow to the extent of offering £2O to the owner of a greyhound which can beat a whippet from scratch over 3.00 yards, and human beings who think they can run are challenged to beat a whippet for this distance with 35yds start. The new attraction should furnish some indication as to how greyhound-racing would be received in Auckland. When the Lookout Man was in South Australia some years ago whippet-racing was very popular, having been introduced by the “And Shall Trelawney Die?” men from Cornwall —the sporting “cousin Yacks.” The whippets raced between lines, just as in sprint races at athletic meetings, with their masters waving handkerchiefs and calling from the far end. The dogs yelped madly as they ran. It was all very exciting. The sport was “booming” then —but, sad to relate, persons known as “bookies” used to frequent the grounds, though boolrmaking w.-*> illegal.

SILENT FLIERS “Dear Look-out .Man, —So many announcements have been made of airmen about to fly oceans, and so many of these proposals have died away that I get sick reading of them. Take that chap Frewen now. There was a great flourish of trumpets over his proposed flight across the Tasman. Firstly, he was going to cross from Australia; secondly, he was going to cross from New Zealand; thirdly, he announces Iris abandonment of the flight because he has no funds —in other words, he ‘hasn’t a feather to fly with.’ When the real dinkum flying man drops down in Auckland one day, all unheralded, and quietly observes that he has just come "from Australia, and could do with a bit of breakfast, I’m going to ‘doff me lid’ and fry him a large flounder all for himself. Likewise, I hope some similarly good-hearted chap in Australia will do the same for the first man who does the job quietly from this end. What about that New Zealand chap who has been preening his down for flight for the last 10 years? Haven't his feathers sprouted yet? Haven’t read any of his publicity for fully a month—but anyway, I don’t want to read any more preliminary fluff: I want to read of its accomplishment. If no one else takes it on, I will make preparations to do the flight myself—and I will furnish you with full details, so that you can get me a good kick-off.—Yours, Bill Budget.” »