WHEN THE HEAT AFFECTED THE TOURIST AGENT

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 115, 5 August 1927, Page 5

WHEN THE HEAT AFFECTED THE TOURIST AGENT

“Madame,” said he, hastily unswallowing his Adam’s apple, “I know wliat you are looking for. You want a holiday resort, off the beaten track, combining the charms of sea and country, and full of health-giving ozone. Its scenery, rugged in its grandeur, must be unsurpassed, and such as would inspire a poet, painter, or nature lover. It must be the Alecca of all travellers, the queen of wateringplaces, and a paradise for children. Doctors must recommend it. The soil must be sandy. Flowers must grow in it in profusion. Its situation, amid the olive groves of Provence and the vineyards of the Aloselle, nestling under the great buttress of the Alps, open to the clean breezes of the Atlantic, and perched on a promontory among the romantic fiords of Norway, must be ideal.” He paused for a moment to fill up with breath, and then resumed: “It must be set in historic surroundings, where once the battle-cries of AlacPhersons and AlacFisheries resounded, where Phoenician, Norman, Tartar, Arab, and Saracen have in turn held sway, where Francesca first met Paolo, where bluff King Hal wooed one or more of his matrimonial experiments, where thousands of Christians —not without protest—were thrown to the Hons. It must possess art galleries, museums, old world palaces, and must be the delight of the antiquary. It must be well paved, lit by electricity, and abundantly supplied with pure water, containing radio-active properties, recommended for sufferers from gout, and ingrowing toenails. It must afford unrivalled opportunities for lovers of deep-sea fishing, surf bathing, ski-ing, golf, motoring, and bowls.” Then his voice rose to a shriek, and he foamed at the mouth. “And we haven't got it,” said he.

LANDSCAPES ON LINEN Experiments in a new form of art invented by a girl painter, Aliss Audrey Weber, have recently been on view in London. She paints landscapes in water-colours on tinted linen, using a solution of glue to fix the colours. The result has something of the “body” of oil paint with the lightness of watercolour, and the pictures, suitably framed in wood, are highly decorative. Flour and petrol mixed into a paste and allowed to dry after applying is excellent for removing grease-marks from any material. It is a curious fact that the more a woman looks straight and slim the i more a man looks round.