TREATISE ON CLOTHES.

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXXV, Issue 33, 7 February 1913, Page 7

TREATISE ON CLOTHES.

In a competition instituted by the Westminster Gazette for the best essay on clothes in words of one syllable “Kitty Kitson” sent the following ingenious contribution in verse:—

When all the world was young and fair, The garb that man was wont to wear Was made, so I am told, of air.

But soon he pined for clothes: with haste He chose a dress to suit his taste: Its line—leaf green—was bright, yet chaste.

Years passed, and shades more gay

were seen; Man was not now as he had been: He was, in point of fact, less green

More bold, and yet more bold he grew, He wore bright tints of red and blue, And pink, and mauve, and so forth, too.

With each new age he grew more vain, Sought out the gay and scorned the plain, And gave his love of gauds free rein.

But then at last a change was made, He turned, I know not why, more staid; Good for his soul, but bad for trade.

Now, clad in drab, in grey, in black, And such dull hues, lie turned his back On all he once had lived. Good lack!

Yet, ah! the heart of man is vile, His new fine scorn was nought but guile, For still he dotes on cut and style! Thus far the male; what of the she? Ah, well—if such a thing could be— She is full twice as vain as lie. For gowns, and what not of the sort, She gives more gold and takes more thought, And wastes more time, too, than she ought. She plans how best to gain her ends, How got the most for what she spends And how to cut out all her friends. So dress is made the bane of life, And such a source of sin and strife, It parts dear friends, and man and wife. Thus have 1 tried to show in verso a verse How clothes have proved to man a curse; They rob his peace and eke his purse.