Untitled

Southland Times, Issue 1528, 23 January 1872, Page 3

When does a man feel girlish ? — When he makes his maiden speech. Tennyson is not a heathen, though he ia " wedded to his Idyls." A policeman, fond of reading, told a friend that for amusement, when off duty, he often " took up", a book. Why ia a soldier who attempted to bayonet a ghost an unprincipled fellow ? — Because he sticks at nothing. The only liberty cap is the night cap. In it men visit, one-third of their lives, the only land where they are free and equal. Young gentlemen who would prosper in love should woo gently. It is not fashionable (?) for young ladies to take ardent spirits. " Mr D., if you'll have my coat done on Saturday, I'll be for ever indebted to you."-—" If that's your game it won't be done," replied the tailor. The first qualities wanted in all who deal with the education of children — Patience, self-control, and a youthful heart that remembers its own early days. We must not always speak all we know — that were folly ; but what a man says should be what he thinks, otherwise it ia k n a very . — Montaign e. The witty man of the Middle Temple, who's " been there," describes a wateringplace as a " mixture of sea, sand, sun, shells, surf, sailors, and swells." Advice to Engineers. — Don't strike while the iron's hot. Black and White. — Hibernian Rehoolmaster — " Get out wid ye ! don't I know ye'd stand there and lie yerself black ia the face wi'dout once changing color, ye spalpeen!" j4ll fob Monet. — Jack Damyan and his wife have just started on their wedding tour. The lady's chief attraction is her income. In this case Jack's friends call the usual period of seclusion the moneymoon. M. Potty er-Quertier. — Mrs Malaprop thinks the French Chancellor of the Exchequer has a most capital name for a tax-collector. The excellent old ladycalls him Mounseer Pay Ter Quarter.