VARIETIES.

Southland Times, Issue 1282, 22 July 1870, Page 3

VARIETIES.

■ m • The Boston Pott thinks it very imprudent ia a man to promise his doctor * legacy. Lj < " Well, Mary, where do you lire now?!* "Please, ma'am, I don't Jive now; Via married." All "establishments ". die of dignity. They are too proud to think thetriselves iU, and to take a little physic. / f;i Over the door of a house in a Tillage near London is written — " Simon Biblea slaughter* hogs like his father." .? ;? Louisville, Kentucky, has a General Jackson, who is called " Mudwaly," to distinguish him from '* Stonewall." The very climax of superfluous benerolence has been declared to be that of holding an umbrella over a duck in the rain. A Yankee editor says that the girl* complain that the times are so hard that the young men can't pay their addresses. "Were you born in wedlock P" asked a lawyer in examining a witness. "No, sir." answered the man, "I was born ia Ohio." An artist painted a cannon so natural •the other day, that when he finished the touch-hole it went off. Sorry to say it was taken for the rent by the broker. ; Why are farmers like fowls ? Because neither will get crop* without industry. V , , A woman in Chicago recently seized a man, and before he could secure assistance brutally married him. .* I bare cleaned my mirror, and, fixing. my eyes on it, I perceive so many defects I in myself that I easily forgive those of others. : ' A Dutchman describes New Yorkers as "berry fine people, who go about the . streets scheating each other, (and dey call dat pizzinezs." .^* ; ;