LETTERS FROM LITTLE PEDLINGTON, INVERKELLY.

Southland Times, Volume VI, Issue 498, 20 June 1866, Page 3

LETTERS FROM LITTLE PEDLINGTON, INVERKELLY.

No. IV.

Tliob. Tomkins, Esq., Eumtifoozle Square. London. .» Inverkelly, 14th June, 1866. Mt Deae T, — In continuation, the chief power — the " head centre " under the celebrated Education Ordinance, is the Education Committee, if you plaize ! ! This remarkable body was to consist of at least three members of the Provincial Council. I have already described the latter. You will therefore be able to appreciate the constitution of the committee; the other three by the Superintendent, who also forms one. Thus, he can always command a majority, and preserve in this, as iv other cases, bis immemorial rights as " Commander of the Eaithful." Its duties are to inspect and overlook — save the mark! — "the system of education, and management of schools ! ! " It had a secretary, who had to be paid ; it had an inspector, who had to be paid also. ISText are the school committees, to be elected by the ratepayers, who feel great pleasure in this privilege ; inasmuch as, if the committee do not educate the children, it will at least tax the ratepayers, and it is such fun to be taxed. The committee has its treasurer, to be paid ; also its assessor or assessors, to be paid. By this admirable arrangement it was found that, as the country was not thickly populated, they were pretty well all officers, and no men. Further, that the revenue collected was barely sufficient to satisfy the expenses of collection ; so it was at the year's end exactly as you were. The Provincial Council was expected to vote sums to subsidize the contributions raised in the various districts. This practise has, however, for some years become obsolete — for the simple reason, if the sums were voted, they would never be paid. — Ex nihilo nihil, Sfc. In the first blush, however, of the coming into operation of the Ordinance, we fired away right well — erected expensive school-houses, in the dearest time. These at present being untenanted are rapidly falling into disrepair, but are no trouble to the Government. "We also got out teachers from home, paying their passages ; but, as we cannot pay their they have been a trouble ; so much so, that at one time, it was contemplated bringing them within the provisions of the "Nuisance Ordinance," making itimper- j ative that they should wear a white board round their necks, with the words " Beware of the Teacher " legibly marked. This threat frightened them, off the premises, and none of the species have been lately seen prowling about the town. But there was a deeper principle involved in this Ordinance than is apparent at first sight. The districts had to be necessarily small to enable children of tender years to walk to school, the settlers being widely scattered. Many were bachelors, these'were the fellows to tax. In vain they protested that not having any children, they could hardly be expected to pay for the education of those who had. They were informed, item con, that they ought to have children. To be coerced into anything is naturally repugnant to the Anglo-Saxon mind ; to be driven into matrimony is the deuce. There was, however, no help; children they were bound to have somehow, if they wished to be placed on an equality with their fellows. I knew of one instance, where a poor fellow haying been compelled to pay one assessment, sold his property, and fled, giving as a reason, that "he would be Mowed if he'd be forced to marry, and stopping was ruin." However, in the natural ordar of things, i the Ordinance has become a dead letter. The Provincial Council has not elected its quota of members for the Education Committee. The School Committees are defunct. The teachers have sought " fresh fields and pastures new " ; at any rate it is to be hoped bo. < The school buildings ore all out of repair, so we Bhall shortly be ready to start fair, with a simpler, more effective, and less burdensome Act. The next Board is the Weather Board, while not more wooden than the others, is quite as ornamental, and much more useful, In fact, it in the only Board which appears to have answered the pur* pose intended, a&d is still in demand, $p$ «$ Pita w s.&pS »s &!ss•&

IMiim— HUM Mil— Mi IHMIH I l—llil«lMWIM I I now come to that great Institution, the Southerly Buster. I approach the subject with bated breath, and much inward perturbation, lest the weaknesses of human nature should incapacitate me from doing justice to so mighty a subject. It is an Institution which has great weight with those who frequent bars and taprooms. There is a degree of connection between Bacchus and the Buster, which renders it popular to a certain extent with some of the inhabitants of " Little Pedlington." It has already passed through three stages ; and its enemies prophecy that the last stage of all, so graphically described by " sweet Will," "sans teeth, sans eyes, sans tustc, sans everything" is being rapidly approached. In one of my previous letters, in mentioning this august Institution, I warned you not to imagine, it was the wind I referred to ; in describing, however, its gyrations, I cannot do better than adopt certain expressions usually applied in portraying the changes of that fickle phenomenon. In the days of its early existence — the Southerly Buster was, in its first stage a temperate wind ; blowing impartially on the just and unjust : carrying with it confidence and respect, inasmuch as it did not abuse its position ; neither basely truckling to the power of the Grovernment on the one hand, or to the prejudices of a clique on the other; a truthful record of facts, taking the trouble to ascertain the _ correctness of them; carefully abstaining from inventing fictions, to be dished up as facts, to subserve a party purpose ; never warping truth to minister to the vices of friend or foe. Alas! like t^e halycon days of sunny childhood, this innocent stage was passed but too quickly. The inexorable Parcae snapt the thread which connected the Buster with truth and impartiality. Its well known head lies lies buried in Inverkelly's churchyard; and in that lay procession which followed it to its last resting place, there was was not one who, touching lightly on his few feelings, did not breathe forth a requiem of respect and esteem. Not one, when now passing the small tombstone, but will exclaim; " Alas, poor Torick !" He carries with him the brightest trophy which can be emblazoned on vain man's shield — whether exercised in a small province or a great country ; in a lowly hamlet or populous city, that of having been intrusted with a power, which he never abused. Let us hope that when he presents himself at thsse bright gates, in comparison to which are " dark and sad, — the diamond turrets of Shadukiam, And the fragrant bowers of Amberabad." this will gain him as ready an admittance' as did the sinner's repentant tear for the Peri. In the next stage the Buster may be described as a blatant jubilant wind, blowing round all manner of comers Disturbing old-fashioned notions, scattering ancient prejudices of ordinary pride and decency ; and in its wild career uncovering all sorts of hidden treasurers. Soon after the initiation of this stage, it made a most wonderful discovery: one which though at first startling to the minds of the " Little Pedlingtonians," was ultimately received with unbounded joy, and accepted with complaisancy. We went to bed one night, ignorant of the existence of any marvellous creation amongst us ; we rose in the morning, and lo ! we found we had a " Natural Chief;" The only question was, what did it mean? The mass were cognisant of the existence of the Emperors, Czars, Kings, Governors, and alas, Superintendents — the educated of grand Hlamas, great Khans, Bonzes, and so forth; but a Natural Chief in an Ano-lo Saxon community ? what could it ! mean ? There are amongst us, and it is with | grief I say it, those disagreeable things called Eadicals— such have existed even in the most servile communities. From the days when that fellow Virginnius would stab his daughter, for the purpose of kicking up a row and dispossessng poor Tarquin, to the present ; some member fo this most obnoxious class turns up in the most unexpected manner. (Do not make this information more public than you can help). Well, some radical suggested that it meant a chief of weak intellect, and deficient in common sense ; impudently asserting it was the noun which was meant. Another declared that if it was used as an adjective, it could only mean an illigitimate chief. The Buster settled the question. It demonstrated to the the utter confusion of all radicals, that under the wise and benificent direction of Providence, no Booner was a great want felt, than it was supplied. That the craving for something to bow down to, before whom to humble ourselves, had been painfully apparent for some time ; that although it— the. Buster— -was perfectly aware that we were yearning to whrship the golden calf, yet as there was no one amongst us sufficiently wealthy to induce a general humiliation, and no prospect of such ever arising it presented an alternative— it " unveiled the statue"— " Little Peddlington's natural chief." Could the Delphic oracle have spoken more profoundly ? Presto — the thing was done, and proud were we of " Our Natural Chief," and grateful, with a gratitude which will, I trust, never be exhausted to the Buster, ir this inestimable boon. We possessed now, what no other Province could boast of. Each individual member of the community could now worst any antagonist from a neighboring Province in descanting on their respective advantages as compared with Little Pedlington. The following was the usual formula :— " Stranger— loquitur I must confess I can hardly allow the superiority over my own Province which you arrogate, surely our institutions are not dissimilar? and probably work as harmoniously." Little PeddUngtonian--Yea, yea, you have a Superintendent, 3?to» vincial Council and all the rest of it j but, where it your t{ Natural Chief, Bir ? wbere ia ia your 3Satu*al chief—eh?" This question, accompanied with the Jrapid ineertipn •pf your fo.retfn,ger be&ween

Physically and mentally, it is a staggerer. He retires generally for alcholic sustenance. There is a case on record where the above operation was performed on a stranger who was a teetotaler ; he stared wildely, gasped, and had immediate recourse to globules ; being, fortunately for him, homespathist. I assure you, it is a regular staggerer. To enable the human mind to grasp the conception, requires time, and immediate stimulant. To return to the early, days of this valuable discovery. We seemed to have had a new light imparted to us ; we lived in a meral Aurora Borealis. The. morning'! salutation amongst the refined, was changed. Instead of the old-fashioned " good morning," they greeted one another with the quotation from " Lalla Eookh "— " The gates are pass'd, and Heaven is won !" The mass, probably through not knowing anything about " Paradise and the Peri," vented their exhiliration of spirits in the following simple, but affecting lines — " Ooray ! our sorrows Tvill now be brief, " Tor haven't, we got a natural chief?" With a churial, a churial, a churial, &c." The effect was sublime! Fancy two little Pedlingtonians meeting one another in the street, shaking hands violently, and while performing a saraband, screaming out the above line 3at the top of their voices. Any one who has slept in the bush in Australia will recollect being awakened by the sweet tones of the native Magpie, pouring forth its morning orison to the (xod of day ; most will also have seen that interesting bird, the " Native Companion," going through, with the utmost gravity, the evolutions of the mazy dance. Such will be able to realize the interesting sight our streets presented at that time. You, who have not enjoyed this advantage will find difficulty in realising it. Verily, we were a howling city in those days.

Yours ever,