CONCERNING FRIENDSHIP.

Southern Cross, Volume 2, Issue 37, 8 December 1894, Page 11

CONCERNING FRIENDSHIP.

Dear Linda, Do you not think that when we talk of our friends we should be very careful rot to include our acquaintances in the category ? For each friend we have we may have ■twenty acquaintances. What is more ennobling than true friendship, whether it be between man and man •or between two of the gentler sex ? .Friendship between man and woman is, I consider, almost impossible. Either one or the other is sure to overstep the barrier between it and love. It is a very sad fact, yet none the less true, that except in a few isolated cases, such friendship is impossible. Love may die away into friendship, but more often does friendship drift into love. It is only natural that such should be the case, for both start •on the same basis—interest in each other’s individuality; especially is such friendship dangerous when people see qualities in each other which they admire. To my mind it is one of the greatest flaws in human nature that unless any other relation.ship is impossible friendship between man and woman can only end in failure. In some cases the fault lies with the man, but more generally it lies with the woman; a woman will sell her soul for sympathy —especially from a man; and while our weak matures are what they are there is no remedy. Let us turn to a more pleasing picture of friendship —that of man for man. A friend who sticketh closer than a brother—one who manfully stands up for you through good report and ill—should not be lightly xegparded. Who can help his heart

warming to the cheering sound of — “ Hello, old fellow, how. are, you ?”, accompanied by a grip of the hand which makes his fingers crack. The feeling that someone else is better for having seen ns is a very pleasant one ; more than half the pleasure in life is derived from intercourse with our friends. What a helpful relationship it is, too ; one or the other is sure to be the stronger morally, for true friendship cannot exist without admiration for moral qualities. What a deterrent is the knowledge that our friend, would not approve of such and such an action, and how often has dormant talent been called into life by the agency of a friend. Let us therefore when we have secured a friend be careful that we do not drift apart through misunderstanding his or her nature, and, let us cherish with tenderest affection that rarest and most lasting relationship—friendship. Amicus. Well, I do not altogether agree with “ Amicus.” He will not allow that we may have a man friend, which, J think, is bad enough ; but worse still, as every man has done since the days of Adam, he blames us women. He goes on to say —“ A woman will sell her soul for sympathy.” My experience of women is that they will do nothing of the kind. Moreover, I think that in matters of this description the very hardest part of the business often falls to the woman concerned. Man, the stronger, brings all his strength to bear, and the woman it is who has to fight for the right, pitting her weakness, often rendered more helpless by her inclination, against this lord of creation, who will allow no thought of right and wrong to interfere with his desires, and who, with pitiable cowardice, will take advantage of the very weakness of which he speaks so contemptuously. Evidently ‘ Ajnicus ’ has not had to deal with very strong-minded women, and it is strange, for the majority of us are strong-minded now-a-days. We do not languish and faint as our great grandmothers did, but quietly take our share of the heat and toil of the day, and are very often surreptitiously taking notes when we are supposed to be dying for sympathy. I should advise “ Amicus ” to read the following lines, which have been sent to me, and see if he can find the moral contained in them : THE OLD, OLD STOBY. I You have all heard the story o£ Ada.m and Eve, Who lived in the garden of Eden, With nothing to wear but the leaves of the trees, And nothing but apples to feed on. How this poor foolish pair with the curious minds, The parent of everything human, Fell into disgrace and were banished the place, And o£ course it was blamed on the woman. II And ever since then when a mortal has sinned— No matter what form in his sinning—The people who criticise utter the plea That was used at the very beginning; And cynical men who a motive might seek Don’t make any effort to find it; But turn up their noses and ask with a sneer, “ VVell, who was the woman behind it ? ’