Humour

Southern Cross, Volume 1, Issue 39, 23 December 1893, Page 9

Humour

WHY HE TOOK THE PLEDGE. (Specially written for the Southern Cross). Everybody in the township knew Glasgow Bob —his other name doesn t matter. Me was a fine specimen of humanity, hut the old fellow he was on the verge of three score and ten had one weakness that had interfered sadly with his accumulation of -worldly gear. He loved his glassnet wisely hut too well whisky was his failing. When he engaged in a drinking bout his leg's were the first to give way. They refused to carry him long before the liquor got to his head, and it not infrequently happened that Bob had to lie down on the tramway en route to his whare, to which he was sure to be assisted sooner or later by friendly acquaintances. But let him never be so far gone, Bob invariably declined to allow himself to be helped by any but fellow-countrymen. To lie out all night was infinitely preferable to being touched by alien hands. A more patriotic mortal never breathed. Are ye frae Scotland ?” was the first question he always put when help was proffered. “ Kane but a. Scotchman ’ull pit hands on me. If the reply was “ yes,” Bob condescended to allow himself to be restored to a position of perpendicularity and supported home. One dark night Bob retired from the local pub more muddled than he had ever been known to be before — he used to declare afterwards that the wdiisky must have been doctored. Be that as it may, he fell asleep on the tramway, and did not regain consciousness till next morning, when he awoke in his hut some s-ood Samaritans had taken him there Muring the night. The old fellow’s disgust may be he imagined when he discovered that he was indebted for this kindly office to a Chinaman and a nigger rouseabout! Shades of Bruce and Wallace ! To think that a son of Scotia should be under an obligation to <ohina and Ethiopia ! Tons of temperance literature could not have made a greater impression fhan this blow to Bob’s patriotic pride. He registered a vow that never again would he render himself liable to such degradation. He straightway <£ put the peg in,” and kept it in till he passed to where patriotism ceases to he a virtue and nationalities are unknown.