NEW SHEAF OF “DEWARISMS.”

Shannon News, 22 February 1929, Page 2

NEW SHEAF OF “DEWARISMS.”

BRITISH PIER’S VIEWS ON LIFE AND MATRIMONY.

Lord Dewar, a bachelor and one of the industrial leaders of England, is well known in the British isles for his humorous and witty remarks on life and marriage. He recently gave to “The Evening News" of London, some of his favourite sayings. They are reproduced below: Life is made up of trials with an occasional conviction.

To mothers life is just one darn stocking after another. Every man has a black and white side of life.

Most men are believers in heredity, until the son makes a fool of himself.

Mail reaps what he sows, unless he be an amateur gardener. Four-fifths of the perjury of . the world is expended on tombstones. A laugh is as necessary to a human, being as sunshine to a cabbage. Providence never intended us to be equal, except when we are asleep. No man is so’good but a good woman can make -his better.

A golden wedding is ■ when a couple have gone fifty-fifty.' 4 Marriage is a great institution—-for those who like institutions.

Many a bachelorship has been wrecked on a permanent wave. Marriage is a committee of two — with power to add to their number. There are more Mormons in Loiidon than in Salt Lake City, but their wives don’t know it.

A husband should tell his wife everythink he is sure she will find out, and before anyone else does. A philosopher is a man who can look at an empty glass with a smile.

If husbands went everywhere their wives told them to go; there would be fewer, divorces but more widows. Divorce is a great institution, but- it keeps women in circulation.

It is much better to have a few hundreds in the bank than millions on the brain.

No gentleman has ever heard youi story before. •

To achieve disarmament build battleships by public subscription. A man’s reputation is that which L not found out about him.

It seems to me that woman’s place is no longer in the home; it is in the Channel. A man who hides behind a woman’s skirts to-day is not a coward; he is a magician.

When a man says his word is as.gooi as his bond —get his bond.

. We- have been told that man is the noblest work of God, but nobody evei said so except man. Optimism makes a man of 95 buy a new suit of clothes, and two pairs of trousers.

It is a wise wife that laughs at her husband’s jokes. Judge not a man by his clothes, bui by his wife’s clothes. v Poets are born, not paid.

The road to success is filled wit! women pushing their husbands along.

It is not so much what a man standi for as what he falls for.

There are, no idle rich; they are dodging people who want their money. Motor cars are increasing by leaps and' bounds. Pedestrians are surviving by the same process. A kangaroo is just an abortive attempt by nature to make a safe pedestrian.

“Adam’s rib," a small part that has developed into a loud-speaker. The. one thing that hurts more than paying income tax is not having to pay income tax.

Finally Lord Dewar gives us a little verse about the codfish and the hen:— Tlie codfish lays a million eggs, and the helpful hen lays one;

The codfish never cackles to tell us

what she’s done; . And so we scorn the codfish; and the helpful hen we prize, F6r it indicates to you and me that it pays to advertise!